


Innocence Lost

by Elenduen



Category: The Musketeers (2014), d'Artagnan Romances (Three Musketeers Series) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, Forced Prostitution, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, S&M, Sexual Violence, Suicide Attempt, Torture, d'Art Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:50:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 35,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4255281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenduen/pseuds/Elenduen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis`s younger Brother Gaston duc d'Orleans comes for a visit, and demands that he be given d'Artagnan, to warm his bed.</p><p>d'Artagnan agrees, not knowing the Princes nature when it comes to sexual brutality.</p><p>After his ordeal, d'Artagnan struggles to deal with what has happened to him, and keep it secret from the Musketeers, culminating in him falling completely into dispair.</p><p> </p><p>Authors Note</p><p>I`ve created a d'Artagnan whump kink meme, for fics, prompts, comments, and everything relating to d'Artagnan distress.</p><p>elenduen.dreamwidth.org/391.html </p><p>Come and enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

D'Artagnan was not sure what was going on as he walked a step behind Treville through the Louve to where King Louis and Cardinal Richelieu were waiting. 

They were not going to The Throne room, nore where they going to the Libary, where d'Artagnan usually encountered The King. 

Instead they went to Louis private apartments, and to d'Artagnan`s imense surprise, there were no other Musketeers or Red Guards present in the apartments, just the King and Cardinal, both of whom looked deeply troubled, and saddly resigned. 

 

"Ah, d'Artagnan, do please take a seat!" Louis said beckoning d'Artagnan over to one of the petit pointe chairs. 

D'Artagnan looked at Treville in shock, hardly able to believe that the King had just offered him a seat!, Treville however gestured for him to take it, and d'Artagnan found himself sitting down with a jolt, his hands nervously clapsing in his lap.

"I imagine you are confused as to why you have been summoned here, and why" Louis said 

"I am a little curious Sire" d'Artagnan replied glancing at Treville who did not look happy, nore did Richelieu which made d'Artagnan`s stomach churn in worry.

"Well" Louis said clearing his throat "You have been summoned because................well that is to say.......................you are.................."

"Sire?, if I may?" Richelieu said getting a grateful look from Louis, "D'Artagnan" Richelieu said, sitting forward and folding his hands as if in prayer, "Monsieur le Duke de Orleans, Gaston Bourbourne has requested to have you.............attend upon him for the remainder of his stay in Paris"

D'Artagnan blinked, his eyebrows lifting in surprise at this, Gaston duke de Orleans, was Louis youngest brother, and not popular at the French court, after his many intrigues, and betrayals of his elder brother. 

His visit to his Brothers court had been strained to say the least, Louis and Anne had been gracious, or at least Anne had, while Louis had been as petulant as he was during The Duke of Savoy`s visit, making he and his brothers association difficult to say the least. 

That Gaston had decided to single him out for the honour of guarding him during his stay surprised d'Artagnan, they had meet briefly during Gaston`s arrival, and the Prince had been introduced to the Musketeers, and d'Artagnan had attended to hunts during the Princes visit, but he had spoken with Gaston, nore thought he had distinguished himself so much that The Prince would want to have him as his own guard. 

"This is not an order" Treville stressed "I, we, can not in good conscience order you to do this"

"What?, guard Monsieur le Duke?" d'Artagnan asked frowning, unable to understand why his Captain would seem so unhappy about this.

"You are not to be his guard d'Artagnan" Treville said having to force the words out of his mouth, looking as if they were causing him physical pain!, "Monsieur has another.......role in mind for you", Louis made a noise in his throat looking disgusted, while Richelieu sighed deeply, no more happy by this than they others.

"Monsieur has rather........unusual tastes d'Artagnan" Richelieu said "He has desires that are.......questionable, but owing to who he is, he is not questioned for his actions as others would be"

"I, I`m sorry Eminence I don`t understand" d'Artagnan said "What is it that Monsieur wants of me?".

 

Richelieu closed his eyes sighing deeply again, looking pained as he opened his eyes and spoke again, "What Monsieur wants, d'Artagnan, is you"

"Me?" d'Artagnan repeated trying to figure this out, he looked at Louis and at Treville, neither of whom would meet his eyes, and Richelieu looked like he would rather be cutting off his own arms than doing this, what were they going on about?, what desire could be questionable and involve d'Artagnan?, what would Gaston want with him......

A thought crossed through his head, and d'Artagnan paled a little, hardly believing it could be true, there was no way that Gaston would want him to, to........"What exactly does he want?" d'Artagnan whispered thinking he was wrong, hoping he was wrong!

"I think you already know" Richelieu said "If the look on your face is anything to go by"

oh God!, oh God!, d'Artagnan could`nt believe it, they could not be asking this of him!, asking him to prostitute himself to the Duke!, he gaped at Treville in shock, the Captain looking at him with sorrow on his face  
"We can not and will not order you to do this" he said "Only you can decide whether or not you wish to do this"

"Either decision will not be held against you in anyway" Louis assured d'Artagnan "You are free to choose, though I believe that if you decide to...........favour my Brother then Cardinal Richelieu himself will absolve you of any sins"

"Indeed" Richelieu readily agreed "Your honour, and your soul will not be bismirched by this at all"

d'Artagnan bit his bottom lip, still not really sure of this, certainly not sure what he should do, if he refused, then Gaston would likly make a show about being insulted, and perhaps someone else would be selected and Gaston might become violent to them, injuring them severely. 

D'Artagnan could not stomach the thought of someone being hurt for his own inactions, though his stomach turned over at the thought of prostituting himself to the Prince!, it was`nt that he found the idea of two men laying together distasteful, it was that he would not have the choice of saying yes or no, he would simply be at the Princes mercy, be used and discarded like a rag. 

There would be no honour in this, it would be a shameful secret he would have to bear for the rest of his life, but at least he was an adult, a soldier, he was not one of the Kings page boys who might fall victim to the Princes desires should he refuse, some of the lads were just twelve years old!, they`d be ruined for life if Gaston were to make use of them!, at least he was grown, and more able to deal with hard decisions and difficult choices than a boy would be.

While this was not an order, d'Artagnan knew he would be serving France, would be serving his King, and some how that lessened the difficulty in making this decision. 

Lifting his head high, d'Artagnan took a deep breath and spoke to the three older men. 

"I will accept this duty, I am a Musketeer, I swore to serve France, and My King, which I will doing"

"This is not a duty I would ever wish for you to make!" Louis stated emphatically 

"No one will ever hear of this d'Artagnan" Richelieu stated "You have my word of that"

"As far as anyone is concerned you will be on a covert asignment alone" Treville said "No one will ever find out the truth", he then paused and smiled knowing of d'Artagnan`s friendship with the Inseparables "Not unless you wish to tell anyone that is!"

d'Artagnan gave Treville a wan smile knowing he was thinking about Athos, Aramis, and Porthos, though how he would ever be able to tell them about this...........Athos especially, d'Artagnan would rather bite out his own tongue than ever speak of this to his mentor, Athos would be disgusted, would want nothing more to do with him, something that d'Artagnan could not bear. 

No, if he were to do this, he would never speak of it to anyone, not until he was on his death bed and alone with his Father Confessor, only then, as he took his final breaths in his last confession would this secret leave his heart.

 

 

"You are certain you want to do this?" Treville asked as he lead d'Artagnan to Gaston`s bedroom "It`s not to late to back out, and no one would think less of you...."

"Captain!" d'Artagnan interupted stoping and making Treville stop aswell "I said I`d do this, and I`ll do it", Treville looked at him saddly, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it gently 

"You`re a good man d'Artagnan, a very good man, Athos was right, you will be the greatest of us all", d'Artagnan`s eyes widdened at this, and his cheeks flushed with embaressment even as a small smile spread over his lips at his mentors words

"If you ever need to talk after this, come to me anytime, night or day" 

"Thankyou Sir" d'Artagnan said "But I`ll be alright"

"I hope so" Treville sighed keeping his hand on d'Artagnan`s shoulder as they made their way down the corridor, I truely hope so".

 

 

Garrison

 

Athos slumped down at the table beside Porthos, laying his hat down and eagerly grabbing a drink which he downed in a single swallow

"Treville did`n cough up on where the Pup is then?" Porthos said, it was`nt really a question, the look on Athos`s face, and his mood was telling 

"A covert mission" Athos grunted "He left in the dead of night, and will be back shortly before Monsieur leaves for Lorraine"

"He would`nt say where, or what d'Art us doing?" Aramis asked with a frown, not liking the idea of their youngest off and alone without any back up if he needed it

"It`s The Kings business" Athos grumbled "He won`t say anything more, and told me not to ask d'Artagnan on his return", now this got Porthos and Aramis`s attention, if Treville was putting a gagging order on everyone then there was something seriously wrong, this must be a serious mission and d'Artagnan could be alot of danger if he were to keep this secret even from his fellow Musketeers after he returned to the garrison.

Athos slumped deeper down, and his expression one of deep discontent. 

He especially disliked the idea of d'Artagnan being alone on some unknown mission.

It was not that he thought d'Artagnan incapable, he just did not like the idea that the boy who he had come to love, yes love, was alone and possibly in danger. 

He could not bear the thought that he might loose the Gascon who had wormed his way into his heart, one astonishing action at a time!.

First giving Athos a damn good run for his money in sword fighting from the moment he set foot in the garrison, then managing to best Vadim even when suffering from injurys sustained from the explosion the lunatic had set off, saving Athos from his burning Chateau after his ex wife had tried to burn him alive.

From the very moment Athos had been released from his chains in the Chaterlet and set free, and had looked into the boyish face of d'Artagnan, a young man who had lost his Father, by the hand of the man who had attempted to blacken Athos`s name, Athos had known in his heart that there was something special about the Gascon.

D'Artagnan was not just a talented swordsman, nore just a loyal friend, he was...............Athos did not have the words to describe him, nore his feelings for him.

He had never thought he would feel anything for anyone again after all he went through with Anne, but Treville, Porthos, and Aramis had all taught him that he was still capable of friendship, but it was not unitl d'Artagnan came here that he learned he was able to love, and love as deeply and passionately as he had before his disasterous marriage to Anne.

What he would do if he were to loose the boy he had no idea, that risk was always present even when they were together, but with d'Artagnan some place unknown made Athos even more troubled over the notion that he might one day loose the boy who had ignited his long stone cold heart again, if that were to happen, then Athos doubted he would survive it, in fact, in his heart of hearts, he was certain he would not.

 

Louvre

Pain, blood, a burning sensation everytime he tried to move, not that he could move far, the ropes about his wrists and throat prevented him from doing much more than rolling over onto his side and even then he was limited to a strained position with the ropes digging into his wrists painfully.

For the past three days d'Artagnan had been a prisoner here, in Gaston`s room, tied to the bed, and completely at Gastons mercy.

When he had first entered these chambers three days ago, Gaston had greeted him and Treville with a smile, seeming to be pleasent and friendly, and d'Artagnan had believed he would simply be spending a few days laying with a Gentleman, perhaps finding his own pleasure in the Princes company, while he was not in love with Gaston, he was not repulsed by the man, Gaston was handsome, and d'Artagnan felt enough physical likeness towards the man for this mission to not seem so terrible.

He quickly found out his mistake after only a short time, in Gastons company.

Gaston was not a gentleman, and her was certainly not a gentle lover, if lover could be applied to him.  
Considering the way he acted, the way he had taken such pleasure in hurting d'Artagnan, going out of his way to humiliate him and destroy his self respect, the word rapist was more applicable, even though d'Artagnan had consented to this.

Well, consented to laying with Gaston, not to be beaten, bound to a bed, and broken in body and spirit.

Gaston`s forceful enterences to his body, without using anything to help ease the way, had torn his delicate flesh but internally and externally, his inner thighs were red raw and horribly bruised, as were his hips from where Gaston had grabbed hold of him, and thrust inside him hard as he liked, caring nothing for the sobbing and pained cried that his violence was causing d'Artagnan.

His back was also a mass of bites, scratches, and lash weels, as were his buttocks, from where Gaston had enjoyed using a willow switch upon him, sinking his teeth, and his nails into d'Artagnan`s flesh, marking him as his own property. 

The blood which had flowed from d'Artagnan`s torn flesh to pool on the bed sheets had seemed to enthrall him all the more, he had infact delighted in fingering the bleeding wounds, squeezing them and trailing the blood down on it`s path to the bed sheet, even digging his fingers in to deepen the wounds and draw more blood from them, laughing when he made d'Artagnan cry out, and would dip his fingers in the blood and wipe it over the Gastons face, taking great pleasure in telling him how he was nothing more than Gaston`s toy now, that he had no other purpose in life beyond serving Gastons as a whore.

Laying here, on filthy sheets, blood, and semen coating his thighs, d'Artagnan felt like nothing but a whore, a cheap, and broken whore at that.

His throat ached with thirst, his tounge sticking to the roof of his mouth, and feel to large to fit behind his teeth. 

He could`nt remember the last time he`d drank, but knew it had been days since he`d eaten, not that he could stomach food right now anyway, he felt to sick in his heart to bother eating at all.

The stench of stale sweat, and semen rising from his own body, and the bed sheets, added to his neasea, making d'Artagnan try his hardest to lift his head and get his nose up into the free air, not that it was much better in the darkened room, Gaston had all the windows shut and curtains drawn preventing any fresh air or day light from coming in.

Tilting his head as best he could, he caught sight of a wine caraf on the table from which Gaston had been drinking the night before.

A whimper broke free of his cracked dry lips, his desperation for a drink increasing his effort to gain more freedom from the ropes tieing him down.

At the back of his mind he recalled Aramis telling him that a Man could not go more than three to five days without water, he would die if he did not get a drink soon. 

Wincing at the ropes bit into his flesh d'Artagnan strained against them pulling as hard as he could to free himself not caring as the rope about his throat constricted his air supply making black dots dance before his eyes.

Dimly he recalled how he had freed himself from Vadim, how he had worked the ropes against the wooden barrels until they had frayed, but right now he could not get his hands to work that well, was unable to do anything but pull and tug on the ropes gazing intently at the caraf and not hearing Gaston`s return to the bed until the back of his head was struck painfully!.

 

"How dare you try to leave!" Gaston bellowed at him grabbing him by the hair and lifting his head up so their faces were inches apart, "You seek to anger me by trying to escape?, when you are my property?, mine to do with as I see fit!"

"Water!, please!" d'Artagnan begged "So thirsty!", he did`nt care how weak he sounded, he was too desperate for a drink to give concern to that, Gaston smirked at him tossing his head back down and rose from the bed 

"And my Brother believes his Musketeers are elite!" he snorted "You`re nothing but a weak sniviling whore!"

Going across the room he got a jug of water and a glass which he filled and brought over to d'Artagnan surprising the younger man by placing it against his lips and helping him to drink the glass full   
"Better?" Gaston asked 

"Yes, thankyou" d'Artagnan breathed, the cold water soothed his aching throat, and was a balm to his sore mouth, he closed his eyes, letting himself enjoy the soothed sensation, until the glass was shattered against his face, slicing open his cheek, jaw and forehead!.

Blood streamed down d'Artagnan`s face to splatter onto the bed sheet, his head spinning from the force of the blow, and his mind struggling to remain conscious, as Gaston leaped on hi, yanking his head back by his hair   
"You ever presume to leave me again, and I will slice open the tendons in your legs and leave you crippled for life!" he snarled into d'Artagnan`s ear "You are nothing!, you hear me?, nothing but my whore!"

A scant few tears flowed down d'Artagnan`s cheeks as Gaston tossed his head back down, and he bit into his bottom lip, knowing what was coming next, but that did`nt help, he was unable to keep from letting out a howl of pain as Gaston thrust inside him ripping open wounds, and creating new ones as he brutally took his pleasure in d'Artagnan`s body. 

Blood mingled with his tears as he was rutted against the bed, Gastons hands grabbing hold of the rope about his neck and pulling on it, pulling it hard and cutting of d'Artagnan`s air, blood seemed to pound in his ears, his eyes bulging from the sockets, small veins in them cracking and popping as his lips worked soundlessly, his lungs desperately trying to seek air, red and black swirled in d'Artagnan`s vision as the room became hazy before his eyes, then his whole mind was swallowed by darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

D'Artagnan lay on his back, his arms stretched before his head, and the rope still about his throat, his eyes watching Gaston as he paced before him, the Prince had grown bored with viewing and mutilating d'Artagnan`s back, and had decided to start on his front aswell, flipping him over while the Musketeer had been unconscious. 

"So much skin, I hardly know where to begin!" Gaston whispered to himself, then grinned maliciously and jumped onto the bed, drawing a jeweled Italian stilleto from his belt and held it before d'Artagnan`s throat 

"Beautiful is`nt it?" Gaston said "An Italian Count gifted it to me, he and shared many of the same tastes you know?, he was very impressed with how I used this on the boy we had!, how I slipped it inside him and had him riding the blade even as it tore his bowels to shreds!"

d'Artagnan shuddered and looked away, dreading what Gaston had instore for him, if he had killed some one in such a brutal fashion already, then what did that mean for him?. 

He held his breath as he felt the blade being moved down his sternum, all the way to his navel, where Gaston paused, placing the tip of the blade on the nub of flesh there before picking it up and making a swift diagonal cut across d'Artagnan`s belly making him yelp in pain

"Quite whore!, you don`t want me to mess up my master piece do you?" Gaston demanded cutting another slice across d'Artagnan`s belly, and then lifted the blade to the top of his breast bone, with an ice cold smiled he sank the blade all way down to the bone and sliced down d'Artagnan`s chest, his smile growing wider as the Gascon screamed.

 

Tears had dried in d'Artagnan`s eyes, he had cried to much that he had no more to give. 

Sobs had died in his throat, he no longer had the energy, nore even the inclination left to scream or to cry and beg. 

He simply laid on the bed, limp as a corpse, his eyes looking but not seeing as he gazed blankly at the window.

On his chest, and abdomen, stained crimson in blood, and puffy with bruising, was carved the Bourbourne Emblem of the House of Orleans. 

Gaston had spent hours carving into d'Artagnan`s chest, ripping into his skin, and tearing him open to perminantly mark d'Artagnan as his. 

He had laughed and sung as he had cut into the Gascons flesh, telling him happily, how even after he had returned to Lorraine, he would remember Gaston for life, would only have to look down at his mutilated body to remember all that had happened here.

Not that d'Artagnan believed he would ever forget what he had endured in this hell hole, in fact, right at this moment, as he felt Gaston`s soft, hand slip up his thigh, he did not want to even survive.

 

"So pretty" Gaston breathed stroking d'Artagnan`s inner thigh, reaching for his flacid cock, and balls, and frowning as he stroked them and received no response from d'Artagnan.

"You should be grateful!" he said sounding afronted that d'Artagnan was not growing hard in his hand, not bucking his hips and writhing beneath him as Gaston expected him to be, "Not everyone gets to feel the touch of a Prince!"

D'Artagnan did not bother to even try to make an excuse, or protest, he knew there was no help for him, that Gaston would do as he pleased anyway.

The Prince gave a growl of annoyance and went over to the table picking up two candles, blowing out the wick on one of them, and bringing them over to d'Artagnan his smile one of pure icy evil.

"You will regret denying me" he purred holding the unlite candle over d'Artagnan`s groin, and placing the flame of the lit candle beneath the wax to melt it, spilling hot molten wax down onto d'Artagnan cock, and balls, in a constant and agonising stream.

As exhausted, and desolate as d'Artagnan felt, he could not help but cry out, his dry, and tired throat croaking in strangled sobs of pain as the hot wax coated his most sensative flesh burning him painfully, the pain only increasing, and growing ever more unbearable, as Gaston picked off the dried wax, and added more in it`s place, even using the flame of the candle it`self to melt the wax dried on his cock, making d'Artagnan feel as if he were on fire.

Dimly, at the back of his mind, an image of Athos formed, the man was turned slowly towards him, his back to the sunlight, casting red and golden glow about him, making him look like an avenging angel descending from heavon to fight a battle.

As his legs were shoved up to his chest, and he felt Gaston move between his thighs, d'Artagnan let out a single whisper just as consciousness fled his mind  
"Athos.........".

 

Ten long days went by before Gaston decided it was time to leave his Brothers domain and return to Lorraine once more.

With a self satisfied smirk on his face, Gaston gave a shallow and mocking bow to his Brother, as he made to depart   
"We`ll have to get together more often Louis, I`ve had such fun here"

"I swear to you Brother!" Louis hissed "If you have harmed d'Artagnan........."

"Oh Brother!, you have such vanilla tastes!, don`t you know?, a little pain can make things far more pleasurable!"

Louis gave a wordless snarl at his Brothers words, glancing at Treville, who nodded, all to happy to take his leave and get to d'Artagnan, "Well, I think I`ll take my leave before I out stay my welcome!" Gaston sneered looking not to a seething Richelieu,   
"Cardinal, do try to take some sun light more than once a decade!, you`re starting to look like a white washed corpse!"

"I`ll bear that in mind your Grace" Richelieu replied with a smile so cold it could have frozen over a furnace!

"You do that!" Gaston purred "Brother!" he said to Louis tilting his head before spinning elegantly on his heels and strutting from the throne room leaving a furious King and a seething Cardinal in his wake

"Armand, go to d'Artagnan, arrange for anything that he might need" Louis ordered "He can also remain in the palace as long as he desires, and it to be given his own chambers"

"Yes Majesty" Richelieu gave Louis a bow but was dismissed with a wave of the Kings hand, Louis stomping off to go and find something to amuse himself with, and try to forget the displeasure of his Brothers visit.

 

 

D'Artagnan was laying in a fetal position on Gastons bed when Treville entered the room.

He immediately recoiled at the stench of urine, sweat, sex, and blood that reaked in the air.

"Oh no", Treville`s hand came up to his mouth, and his face paled as he saw d'Artagnan laying on the bloody sheets, curled up in a limp ball.  
For a single horrified moment, Treville thought that d'Artagnan might be dead, it was only as he drew closer, and saw that he was shaking, either with cold or with shock Treville did not know, nore did he care, since he was just so releaved that the boy was still alive.

"D'Artagnan" he said as he gently placed his hand on the Gascons shoulder, feeling him flinch under the touch "D'Artagnan, it`s Treville, you`re safe now, I promise", sickness swirled in Treville`s belly at the sight of so much blood soaked into the sheets, so many injurys covering d'Artagnan`s body, and that was without spreading his legs and taking a look there, Treville actually feared doing so, feared seeing what damage had been done to d'Artagnan`s most delicate areas.

"What has that bastard done to you?" Treville whispered stroking his cheek and feeling his breath catch in his throat as d'Artagnan gave a whimper and curled into himself even more  
"I`m so sorry Mon petit" Treville choked out taking off his cloak and wrapped it about d'Artagnan to preserve what was left of his dignity before lifting him up in a bridal style and carrying him from the room.

Richelieu had just reached the room when Treville stepped outside, "Dear God!" the Cardinal whispered crossing himself at the sight of d'Artagnan "He is still alive?"

"Barely" Treville said "He needs a Physician, and new quaters"

"His majesty has ordered he is to be given everything he needs" Richelieu said beckoning for Treville to follow him and snapped his fingers at a couple of Red Guards "Fetch my personal physician at once"

"Yes Eminence", the Red Guards bowed and left to carry out his orders, only pausing briefly to glimpse the pale bloody bundle in Treville`s arms, who was leaving a trail of blood in his wake as he carried d'Artagnan down the corridor

"You`ll make sure the Physician does not breath a word of this to anyone?" Treville asked not wanting what d'Artagnan had been through to become court gossip

"He`ll be under pain of death, as will my guards" Richelieu replied without pausing in his step until the reached the chambers he had selected for d'Artagnan, not far from Louis own private chambers, making them some of the most luxurious in the Louvre, though he doubted d'Artagnan would feel and gratification at being given such opulant rooms, in fact looking at the boy, Richelieu could hardly believe he would survive the night.

 

 

Dr Roche was both consentious and gentle in his treatment of d'Artagnan, he treated the numerous injurys without a word, though his eyes regestered his sadness and disgust at the state d'Artagnan was in.

Before he began stitching, he gave d'Artagnan a cup of Poppy milk, to make him sleep through the worst of the pain.

Treville had seen servere injurys on the battle field, he`d seen severed limbs, blow apart skulls, disembowelments, but even he could not supress a moan of horror when he saw the full extent of the wounds d'Artagnan`s had suffered.

His genitals were blistered and burned, while not seriously, they would be agonisingly painful, his anus was torn in several places, and there were more tears inside his body, which Roche had little way to treat, all he could do was use a pressery and hope that the bleeding stoped on it`s own.

His thighs and pelvis were black and blue with bruising, the skin on his inner thighs was rubbed so raw that it was bleeding from where it had been worn away!.

D'Artagnan`s back, abdomen and torso all needed cleaning and stitching. 

His face was baddly bruised, and the cuts from the glass were puffy and red, but not deep enough to require stitching, nore binding, so after cleaning them Roche left them free to the air to let them heal, his wrists and throat were also baddly bruised from where he had been restrained, some areas torn and burned with friction, these Roche carefully bound, examining d'Artagnan`s throat to make sure that his air was secure and not in any danger of becoming constricted.

"He`ll need to take at least ten days of restricted activity" Roche said as he completed his treatment "And I would recomend that he take things easy for several weeks after that"

"I`ll see to it" Treville whispered going to take the doctors place by d'Artagnan`s side, taking his hand into his own "Cardinal?, please have a message sent to the garrison that I will be detained indefinately, and that Athos is to asume comand in my absence"

"I will do so personally" Richelieu said, shaking his head at the sight of the broken boy on the bed "May God grant him mercy and a speedy recovery"

"Amen" Treville whispered resting his elbows on the bed "And may he have pity on our souls for bringing this upon the boy"


	3. Chapter 3

D'Artagnan awoke the day after he had finally been freed from Gaston`s clutches.

At first he could not remember anything, just felt as if he had fog in his head, and a horribly dry mouth.

Then as he tried to move, and felt the whole of his body protesting at the action as spasems of pain flowed through him, the horror of what had been done to him came flooding back.

It was as if he had suddenly been hit by a tsunami!, the sudden rush of despair, pain, and revulsion that flowed through d'Artagnan from head to foot over whelmed him completely. 

He felt sick, physically sick at himself, even his own skin disgusted him.

Not a single part of his body had not been violated, damaged, and ruined by Gaston.

The sadistic Prince had taken everything that d'Artagnan was, had been, and had broken him into pieces like a china doll, taking pleasure in the shattering like a destructive child, and had jumped and stamped on all of his broken parts, until there was nothing left but powder beneath his feet.

Guess he lost interest once I was sufficiantly ruined, D'Artagnan thought to himself, well what further pleasure could Gaston had gotten from him?, the last day he`d been half unconscious, unable to take anymore torment, his body so damaged from blood loss and pain that his mind had slipped into a semi conscious state.

Limp as a rag doll, he had simply laid there on the bed, letting Gaston do as he wished, but then had`nt he been doing that from the very start?.

Some how d'Artagnan had never thought, never imagined that serving Gaston in a carnal manner would leave him feeling so used, so cheap and filthy.

He had imagined that he would spend a few days having sex with the Duke d'Orleans, and then he would simply go back to regular duties as a Musketeer none the worse for wear, and perhaps with a few happy memories of spending time in the arms of a Royal.

However he now felt like he`d been so ruined, inside and out that he could never go back to his old life, could never look at himself in a mirror again without feeling sick!.

It was not just what Gaston had done to him that sickened d'Artagnan, but that he had allowed it to be done in the first place.

He could not imagine any Musketeer other than him having sold themselves like he had, having let themselves be fucked, beaten, and tossed aside without a second thought.

Never since the moment of his commission from Louis, had d'Artagnan felt so inadequate, so unworthy as he did right now.

He remembered Gaston calling him a whore, telling him that he was nothing but a whore, was worthless and useless, could never expect to be anything other than the fuck toy of someone greater than he, and the Prince had laughed, happily telling him that even the beggers in the street were greater than d'Artagnan would ever be, for while they begged for money, they did not roll over and let themselves be fucked like an animal, did not keen and whine worse than a bitch in heat, they were Men, not dirty twisted things like d'Artagnan.

In his minds eye he could easily see Athos looking at him in pure disgust.

An expression he had only seen on the former Comtes face a handful of times, saved for the most gross of criminals, those that revolted him utterly and completely.

To have Athos treat him with such revulsion made d'Artagnan`s heart ache as if he was being stabbed through it, he would rather be stabbed through the heart than have Athos cast him away.

 

To the side of the bed, where d'Artagnan had not even bothered looking yet, Treville stirred from an uncomfortable sleep, his neck aching from being twisted to one side and his back cramping as he stretched

"I`m too old for this!" he muttered rubbing the back of his neck before seeing d'Artagnan looking at him, "Oh that God!" he breathed "I feared that you..............I`m so sorry, I never thought.....................................I can`t begin to express how awful I feel for letting this happen to you"

Let it happen?, Treville had`nt let anything happen had he?, d'Artagnan had chosen to do this, he was the slut, the whore, Treville had nothing to feel bad about.

Wetting his lips with his tongue, d'Artagnan shook his head "You`ve done nothing wrong Sir" he whispered, his voice horse and he broke into a coughing fit shortly there after, Treville grabbed the water jug on the bedside table and poured some into a cup, helping him drink enough to sooth his throat 

"I have done a great deal of wrong d'Artagnan, a great deal of wrong to you" Treville said "I should never have let Gaston near you, never allowed this to happen, and I don`t know how I can even begin to make things right"

Make things right!, as if things could ever be right again!, as if d'Artagnan would ever feel right again, ever get ride of the filth staining his body, blackening his heart, and putrifying his soul, he would forever be nothing but a broken shell of destroyed hopes and ruined dreams, there was nothing anyone could do for him, no way that Treville could ever "Make things right".

 

 

Athos was at the point of ripping his hair from his skull!, hair that he was sure had started to go grey since d'Artagnan`s arrival at the Garrison!.

It had been far longer than Treville had said, that d'Artagnan would be away, making Athos sure that something had gone wrong, horribly wrong.

Yet when he took these concerns to Treville, the Captain had waved off his worries and still refused to tell him where d'Artagnan had gone, even though he had seen the state that Athos was in.

Normally when he was depressed, anxious, or suffering any kind of upset, then Athos would seek solice in a bottle or three, and drink until he fell unconscious, or at least could not form a single intelligent thought anymore. 

But it seemed that drowning his sorrows simply did not work when it came to d'Artagnan.

He found himself unable to down more than a bottle of red, the taste sickening him, and his throat constricting as he tried to swallow more, as if his fearful heart were protesting him finding any peace until d'Artagnan was safely back in the garrison and at Athos`s side.

He could not allow himself to think that d'Artagnan would not return to his side, could not bear to imagine the monsterous casem that would open up inside him if he were to loose the shining Gascon star who had brought love and light back into his life.

He was not the only one would be destroyed by the loss of the Pup.

D'Artagnan had become an essential part of The Inseparables, as nessarsery to them as a beating heart, and breathing lung. 

They could not, would not survive without him, he was the fourth brother of their strange little family that they had never realised they were missing until he had come into their lives, and when he had, he had fitted right into their group.

There had been no awarkwardness, or difficulty in d'Artagnan fitting in with them, he had simply become a part of their lives, a part they could not afford to loose.

Athos knew the end of The Inseparables would begin the very second they learned that their youngest was lost to them.

He would drink himself into an early grave, drown himself utterly and completely in alcohol until it washed away the rest of his pitiful empty life.

Porthos would become reckless, and pick fights with the worst kinds of brutes, and eventually get himself killed.

Aramis, dear romantic Aramis, perhaps for a time he would retreat to a Religious house to find peace for himself, but he would not find it, his will to live would slip away a day at a time until finally there was nothing left of the romantic hero who had walked proud with his Brother at his sides.

It was a grim vision of the future, a vision that Athos prayed would never come true, and yet as a week became ten days, and ten days into fourteen, he feared more and more that his horror prediction of the future might in fact become a reality.


	4. Chapter 4

He was not really fit enough to rise from the bed, his entire body was aching, stinging, and throbbing with pain, which was only increased as he made himself walk, but d'Artagnan refused to spend any longer in The Louvre.

Even though he had been given a different room to the one Gaston had tortured him in, d'Artagnan could not help but associate all the bed chambers, in fact all the rooms at The Louvre to Gastons bed chamber.

Being in the opulant room, with the frescoe painted ceiling, crystal chandelier, pettit pointe furniture, and lace curtains hanging in the windows, was just the same as being trapped in Gastons room, laying on the soft bed, was to reminicent of being tied to Gastons bed.

The physicians droughts of poppy tea had kept him sleeping for the first two days, but after the tea had been stopped, he had been unable to sleep for the nightmares that plagued his mind every time he closed his eyes.

Over and over he would see himself back in Gaston`s clutches, chained to the bed like a dog, being whipped, burned, bitten, and cut, his mind proved to be even more sadistic than Gaston had been to him, had him dreaming of even more horrific torments for Gaston to inflict upon him.

Time and again he would awaken in a cold sweat, shaking from head to foot, and panting as hard as if he had just been running at top speed!.

After five days of this, he could`nt take anymore, he could not continue to look at the room that reminded him so much of Gastons, could not remain inside the building where his suffering had occured.

 

Biting his bottom lip, and wincing with pain, he dragged his protesting body from the bed, and dressed himself in the clothing that Treville had brought for him.

Treville had been to see him everyday, spending hours talking to d'Artagnan, even when he hardly got a response from the younger man, coaxed him into swallowing at least a few mouthfuls of food.

Had he not felt so wretched, then d'Artagnan would have proberly happily gorged on the food he was receiving from the Palace cooks, it was the finest cuisine he had ever been served in his life, choice cuts of meat, crisp vegtables, fluffy freshly baked bread, and delicious desserts that would make anyones mouth water.

However d'Artagnan had little taste for anything, picking briefly at the meals before shoving the food away, his appetite quite lost.

 

Treville had tried to get him to eat more, to speak more, to talk about what had happened to him, but d'Artagnan could not find any words with which to adequately express what had been done to him, hell he could`nt even bring himself to say any words about what Gaston had done.  
What he needed to do, what he was desperate to do was to escape, and not just The Louvre but his own mind.

While one was possible, the other was not, though d'Artagnan hoped, that with the aplication of the first he would be able to over come the latter.

Surely if he were back in The Garrison, going about his duties, his routine, then his mind would become distracted enough for his thoughts, his memories not to bother him anymore.

 

Riding his horse was abject agony, and by the time d'Artagnan had reached the Garrison he was close to sobbing for the pain he was in, almost falling to the ground as he gracelessly dismounted, the only thing that kept him on his feet were the three joyous cries from Athos, Aramis, and Porthos who rose from the table to greet him.

"Oh thank God!" Athos breathed reaching d'Artagnan first and pulling him into an embrace, holding the younger man close and squeezing him tight, making d'Artagnan whimper for the pain this caused his wounds, his pale face becoming paler still.

"What is it?, are you hurt?" Athos asked breaking the hug and scowling at the brusing and cut on d'Artagnan`s face "Aramis!!"

"I`m on it!" Aramis said as he and Porthos joined the two men 

"What happened to you?, where have you been?" Porthos asked frowing as d'Artagnan flinched out of Aramis reach, wrapping his arms about himself shaking his head

"Nothing, I`m fine!" he lied trying to make his lips form a smile "Just happy to be home!"

"You`re whiter than a sheet!!" Aramis exclaimed taking d'Artagnan`s wrist to feel his pulse and let out a moan at the sight of the rope burns upon it which d'Artagnan hastened to cover, "Who did that to you?" Aramis demanded "Where else are you hurt?"

"I`m not" d'Artagnan whispered his head beginning to hurt, a sharp pain digging in behind his eyes, he could hear a rushing sound in his ears as his blood pulsed swiftly, his stomach was churning and a bitter taste was spreading over his tongue, he found himself blinking and shaking his head making it throb even more as his vision blurred, dimly he could hear Athos speaking to him, Aramis and Porthos saying something, but the noise and the pain in his head were to intense, and to his eternal shame, he could feel a warm dampness spreading between his buttocks.

With tears welling up in his head, he tried to take a step forward, opening his mouth to excuse himself, but that single step was the last thing his body could handle, a wave a white hot pain enclosed his whole being, followed by darkness filling his mind.

 

Athos hardly had enough time to lunge forward and grab hold of d'Artagnan as his eyes rolled back and his body fell into a deep faint!.

"Get him to his quaters!" Aramis snapped "I`ll grab my pack and meet you there!".

 

Carrying d'Artagnan like a bride, Athos took him to his quaters and laid him down on his bed, undoing the laces of his doublet and gently easing it off d'Artagnan`s body, doing the same with his shirt and giving a low moan when he saw the bound wounds decorating his beloved Gascon`s abdomen, torso, and back.

"What the hell happened to him?" Porthos growled dumping the boys boots on the floor "Who did this to him?"

"Who ever it was, they tortured him!" Athos snarled kicking at the night stand in frustrated anger, he knew something like this would happen!, knew d'Artagnan would become injured!, God damnit! the boy attracted danger like flames did moths!

"Jesus wept!" Aramis hissed as he came into the room and saw the state of d'Artagnan`s torso, "I`ll kill whoever did this"

"Assuming their not already dead" Athos muttered, he shrugged when both Aramis and Porthos looked at him "He`s here, I`d guess he escaped from wherever he was being held, and I doubt he let whom ever did this get away with it"

"Good point" Porthos agreed undoing the laces on d'Artagnan`s breeches and gently tugging them down so Aramis would be able to check his legs aswell as his upper body, before they dressed him in a night shirt and tucked him into bed.

However as he rolled the breeches down d'Artagnan`s thighs a gut wrenched cry of horror escaped his lips at the sight of the blood on the leather and staining d'Artagnan`s inner thighs

"Oh no, no!" Aramis whispered a shaking hand fumbling for his beloved cross, Athos stared at the blood between d'Artagnan`s legs, the finger and hand print bruises on his thighs and hips feeling sickness churning in his stomach at the unmistakable signs of rape.

Feeling the bile rise up in the back of his throat, Athos shoved past Aramis, stumbling over to the chamber pot and vomiting raggedly

"Why?" Porthos whispered, tears shining in his eyes "Why would anyone do this!?", he had seen cruelty, depravity, growing up in the Court of Miracles it was rather hard to avoid acts of malice, but he had never witnessed the rape of a friend, or rather in this case the aftermath of rape.

"Bastards better already be dead!" Athos grunted wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve "Because if they are not, then they`ll wish they were by the time I get my hands on them!".

 

Treville rested his head in his hands, his elbows on his desk as Athos grilled him, rightious anger rolling off him in waves.

"Treville had been alarmed when he had found d'Artagnan`s chambers at the palace empty, had searched for him immediately, being told by the stable hands that he had collected his horse and ridden back to Paris, Treville had taken his own horse and galloped back to the Garrison as fast as he could, but not in time to prevent Athos, Aramis, and Porthos from discovering what had happened to d'Artagnan, not via d'Artagnan telling them, but from him collapsing and their finding out by examining him looking for wounds.

As soon as he had made it back to the Garrison, Treville had been cornered by a seething Athos, was frankly surprised he had not already taken several blows from the furious Lieutenant.

"Where did you send him?, what work was he doing?" Athos yelled slaming his fist down onto Treville`s desk making everything on it rattle "Do you know what has been done to him?, do you?"

"Yes, saddly I do" Treville ground out lifting his head and looking at Athos tired and miserable eyes "I know what happened, and I know who do this, but I can not and will not tell you"

"You will tell me!" Athos bellowed his face red with fury "You will, or so help me God I`ll.........."

"What Athos?, strike your commanding officer?" Treville asked sitting back in his chair "Go ahead, beat the shit out of me if you wish, but I will not change anything, it will not undo what has already occured, and I do not think that putting me in the infirmary will do anything to help d'Artagnan recover, do you?"

Athos made a foul expression, looking away and gritting his teeth, seeing the sense in this, but God! did he want to beat on someone, to make someone pay for what had been done to his Gascon!, preferably the sick fuck who`d done this to him!

"D'Artagnan is going to need you now Athos, more than he has ever needed you before" Treville said rising from his seat and placing a hand on Athos`s shoulder "I`ve tried talking to him, but I`m not close enough as a friend to reach him, but I believe you are"

"What do I say?" Athos whispered "What can I possibly do to help him?"

Treville shook his head, pressing his lips into a thin line, wishing he had an answer, but the sad truth was, there was nothing anyone could do for d'Artagnan, except give him time and be there for him.

 

 

D'Artagnan blinked sticky sleepy eyes, his head feeling like it had been stuffed full of wool!, his eyes focused on the slanting ceiling of his bed chamber in the garrison, and he sat up swiftly, too swiftly since he was left moaning as every injury he was suffering from was agrevated by the movements

"Hey hey hey!, easy!" came a soothing voice to the left, acompanied by a warm hand resting on his shoulder applying pressure to urge him to lay back down.

Letting out a huff of pained breath, d'Artagnan allowed himself to be laid back down, seeing Athos`s concerned face looking down at him.

Athos`s hand did not leave his shoulder, nore did the worry leave his eyes as d'Artagnan settled back on the pillows, he continued to gaze at the Gascon with worry and sympathy on his face, making the lines about his eyes and on his forehead appear deeper and more ingrained.

Realisation came over d'Artagnan, his features freezing and hardening as he realised that Athos knew everything.

A thousand things to say flitted through d'Artagnan`s mind, as a thousand senarios acompanied them, what he could say to Athos, what Athos would do in response, comfort him as he cried, offer a lecture and a reprimand, tell him he was disapointed and could no longer be his friend anymore, simply get up and walk away.

So many different ways this could go, and d'Artagnan wanted none of them, he could not bear to see hatred on Athos`s face, nore disgust and revulsion, or worst of them all, Pity.

The last thing d'Artagnan had ever wanted was to be pitied, and to see Athos pity him turned his stomach over, he would rather the man hated him than saw him as something weak and pathetic.

"How are you feeling?"

Those four words drew d'Artagnan`s attention from his own mind, back to Athos, back to the grey/blue eyes that were swirling with pain, pain not for himself, but for d'Artagnan

"You know", d'Artagnan`s voice was brittle and strained, his expression emotionless as he made a statement not asked a question

"I....I know you`ve been hurt, in the worst possible way, by whom, and how it happened I do not know" Athos replied reaching out for d'Artagnan`s hand only to have him pull away, dislodging the hand on his shoulder aswell, "I can`t tell you how sorry I am............"

"No, no" d'Artagnan groaned cutting Athos off, shaking his head "Go" he whispered his hands fisting the bedsheet "Get out"

"D'Art...."

"I said Get Out!" d'Artagnan all but screamed retreating towards the wall on the far side of the bed, his knees coming up to his chest and his arms wrapping about them "Get away from me!" he spat, hating the tears in Athos`s eyes, the quiver of his lips 

"I only want to help!" Athos all but pleaded 

"Help?" d'Artagnan laughed sounding on the verge of hysteria "I don`t need your help and I don`t want your pity!, now leave me!, Go drink three bottles of wine, grieve over your fucking brother!, go do anything just GO!", d'Artagnan turned his face away from Athos biting into his lips and shuddering as he held in the sobs that tried to escape, Athos opened his mouth to say something, his hand lifting slightly as if to reach out for him, only to drop back down, sad resignition settling over him as he rose from the stool he had been sitting on and reluctantly did as d'Artagnan wished and left him alone.

The moment the door had closed behind Athos, d'Artagnan flung himself face first down on the pillows letting his tears fall while his hands clutched at the bedding his whole body shaking as he wept bitterly.

 

Outside d'Artagnan`s door Athos slumped down resting his head on his knees, his heart shattering into a thousand bloody shards as he heard the sobs coming from inside the room he had just left.

Every part of his being longed to go back into the room, to pull d'Artagnan into his arms, rest the boys head over his heart and comfort him, to take away all the pain inside him, to make everything alright again.

But there was no way to make everything alright again, no way Athos could undo all that had been done to his Gascon, no way he could make up for what had happened, especially when d'Artagnan did`nt even want him around.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I`m not sure how they would treat a panic attack back in the seventeenth century, or if they would at all, so I had to make things up as I went along since the practises we use now would not have been around back then.

Having never been one for staying in bed for long periods, d'Artagnan dragged his weak protesting body from his bed the next morning.

He`d spent the whole night laying in the dark, unable and unwilling to sleep, not wanting to face another nightmare.

Both Aramis and Porthos had come by, offering him the same pity as Athos, who lingered by the door, not coming all the way in, but refusing to leave d'Artagnan`s room completely.

Aramis had tried to talk to d'Artagnan about his wounds, tried to explain to him about what he needed to do in order to heal, but d'Artagnan had stoped hearing the words after a few moments, had simply rolled on his side, his back towards the older man, his arms wrapped about himself as he stared at the wall ignoring Aramis until he gave up and left.

Porthos had received the same treatment when he had tried to get d'Artagnan to eat something, all but begging him to at least have a few mouthfulls of the stew that he`d brought up.

Apparently he`d gone out especially to The Fox, which served d'Artagnan`s favourite rabbit stew and brought some back for him.

Just the smell of the food made d'Artagnan`s stomach churn, and Porthos`s pleading made him angry, did the man think him a child to be quieted with treats?, that he could be placated and soothed by having his favourite meal?.

When Porthos had failed to get any response from d'Artagnan, his temper had started to flair, snapping at him, and threatening to force the food down his throat if he did`nt eat!.

D'Artagnan had rolled over and looked at him with cold hard eyes, his expression daring Porthos to try it, after what he`d just been through being force fed was hardly a frightening prospect.

Sighing in defeat Porthos ahd retreated not wanting to do or something that he would regret later, leaving the bowl of stew on the small table beside d'Artagnan in the hope that hungre would get the better of him and he`d eat later.

He had not though.

Come the morning the stew still sat there, now cold and gelatinous, completely unappetising to anyone but the starving and desperate.

Also come morning, d'Artagnan had resolved to stop laying about doing nothing but moping, and get back to work, which was how The Inseparables found him down in the courtyard before breakfast going through basic sword work.

 

 

Athos, Aramis, and Porthos had spent the night together at Athos`s appartments.

None of them had wanted to be alone, nore had they wanted to speak either, so they had sat in each others company in silence, drinking until the wine had finally run out, along with the brandy.   
Then they had curled up on Athos`s bed, using each others limbs for pillows and slept until the church bell had awoken them shortly after dawn.

Stiff, sleep deprived, and hung over, the three Musketeers had made their way to The Garrison, hoping they would have more luck in coaxing d'Artagnan out of the shell he had retreated into like a frightened turtle.

What they did not expect was to find him in the training yard looking tired and sick, and forcing his injured body through sword work with painful determination on his face.

 

"He needs to be in bed!" Aramis whispered shooting a worried glance at Athos "He`s no where near fit enough for this!" 

Athos scowled and nodded his head making his way over to d'Artagnan just as the youngster made a turn 

"You`re up early" he commented noting how the Gascons hands were shaking and sweat had broken out on his weary face

"Could`nt sleep" d'Artagnan replied setting up for another round "Besides I`m tired of laying in bed, I need to get back to work"

"D'Art youre not ready for that yet!" Aramis said as delicately as he could "You`re body needs to rest, it needs time to recover"

"I am recovered, I`m fine!", the terse words spoken through gritted teeth did nothing to convince the sceptical looking Musketeers 

"How about we have a good big breakfast?" Porthos suggested "We`ve time to go out before Muster, we can go to a bakers, have fresh Croissants, Brioche, Crepes!, the works!"

"Hmm, I fancy having a bowl of hot chocolate to dip my Brioche in!" Aramis said smiling hopefully at d'Artagnan who shook his head, "I`m not hungry" he replied looking away from Aramis`s disapointed face

"d'Artagnan you did`nt eat yesterday, and by the looks of you you hav`nt eaten properly in days" Athos said "Starving yourself is`nt going to help anything!"

"I don`t need help with anything!" d'Artagnan snapped at his mentor, gripping even tighter to his sword handle as a shameful desire to bury himself in Athos`s arms and sob like a child came over him

"You don`t have to feel ashamed of anything Mon Ami" Aramis said his soulful dark eyes offering compassion and warmth as he spoke "We think no less of you, we want to help you"

"Are you fucking deaf!?" d'Artagnan yelled ignoring the looks they were attracting from fellow Musketeers coming out of their quaters "I said I don`t need help!, not from you, not from anyone!, now leave me alone!", as he spun round to storm away, Athos grabbed hold of his arm stoping him in his tracks and making him panic at the unexpected contact.

The reaction Athos`s touch upon d'Artagnan had, shocked not only him, but everyone else present in the garrison, as D'Artagnan screamed in terror, shoving Athos back so hard that he fell to the ground!

"Don`t touch!, don`t fucking touch me!, stay the fuck away from me!", the hysteria in his voice and abject terror on his face hurt Athos more than the shove did, and he gazed with worried eyes at his hysterical and fragile protege who held his ground for a moment, his arms wrapped about himself, self hugging, before spinning on his heel and bolting for his rooms like rabbit fleeing a wolf!

"Well don`t just stand there!, get after him!" Athos snarled at Porthos and Aramis as he pulled himself from the ground, feeling eyes on himself he looked up to see Treville on the balconey ashen faced with guilt written over his face  
"Not quite what you were hoping for Captain?" Athos sneered at him feeling just angry enough to be vindictive at present, pushing past a couple of his fellow Musketeers he followed after Aramis and Porthos to d'Artagnan`s room.

D'Artagnan slammed the door behind himself, before falling to his knees shaking and sobbing.

What ahd he done?, he`d hit Athos!, he`s attacked a fellow Musketeer!, his friend and beloved mentor!.

Tears rained down his cheeks, and his hands clasped about his own throat. his mind and body at war with each other as his lungs took faster and faster breaths, making his heart pound so hard he throught it might burst it`s way through his chest wall!, he felt like he could`nt breath!, like he could`nt get enough air into his body, that he was being suffocated, and strangled!.

The panic of this made him breath even faster, hyperventilating even more, and increased his fear as a rational part of his mind fought against it, telling him to calm down, to stop breathing so much, to relax!.

The warring inside his own head, the uncontrollable hyperventialion made d'Artagnan cry even harder as he fought to get control of himself, his fists beating at his legs and hands clawing and slapping at his own face to try and calm himself down!, the roaring in his head seemed to get worse, images repeating over and over of himself shoving at Athos, hurting the man who meant everything to him!, disgracing himself before The Musketeers!, surely Treville would kick him out after this!, he would`nt want him around when he did things like this!, he`d be cast out into the streets alone and penniless, left to fend for himself!.

The fear of this flooded through d'Artagnan making him double over as if he`d been kicked in the stomach, desperately his nails scratched at the wooden floor his breathing painfully hard and rasping as he gulped in too much air, unable to prevent his body from panting harder and harder.

This was how Aramis and Porthos found him, on the floor in the midst of a panic attack, nails being torn bloody as he clawed at the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks and paniced sobs tearing at his throat!

"Jesus Christ, D'Art!" Aramis moaned as Porthos swore under his breath, d'Artagnan was`nt the first soldier they`d seen suffering a panic attack, Aramis himself had suffered several after Savoy, and both Porthos and Athos had been well practised in helping him through them.

But that being said, it did`nt make wittnessing a friend going through such a nightmare any less frightening.

Gently as he could, Porthos lifted d'Artagnan from the floor, his strong arms wrapping about the younger man as he failed and cried out!  
"It`s alright, we`re here, we`re not going to hurt you!" Aramis soothed getting in front of d'Artagnan and taking his hands as Porthos hold him tight

"Can`t breath!" d'Artagnan sobbed squirming in Porthos`s grip "I can`t breath!"

"You can breath!, you are breathing!" Aramis said holding firmly to d'Artagnan`s hands and squeezing them "You need to listen to me, you need to slow down your breathing!"

"I can`t!", d'Artagnan tried to pull free from Aramis and Porthos, his face turning a horrible shade of red, and sweat covering his skin as the sheer strain of the panic attack took its tole on him 

"You can!" Aramis persisted "Look at me, listen to me!"

"Can`t!" d'Artagnan coughed and wretched, bringing up nothing with the dry heave, save for acid that burnt his throat and choked him into a coughing fit that made his breathing all the more paniced

"What the hell is going on?" Athos demanded as he burst into the room finding all three of his friends on the floor 

"Panic attack" Porthos replied keeping firm hold of d'Artagnan who was likly to either pass out or throw up at this rate 

Swearing, Athos crossed the room in two strides, dropped to his knees and clamped his hands on d'Artagnan`s face forcing the younger man to look at him   
"Listen to me, look at me and listen to me!" he barked making it a firm order rather than a request and when d'Artagnan struggled more he held on tighter refusing to let go "Do as I say and breath with me!, slowly in through your nose, and hold it, then slowly out through your mouth counting down from ten as you exhale"

"No!" d'Artagnan choked out managing to break a hand free from Aramis`s grip and grabbed at Athos`s hand on his face, only to have it held by the older man tightly

"Do it with me!" Athos ordered "Now in through your nose, hold it, and count down as you slowly exhale, ten..nine..eight..seven..six..five..four..three..two..one, now long breath in again, hold it, and now slowly exhale counting down.......".

 

It took the better part of fifteen minutes but Athos got d'Artagnan breathing normaly again, not letting him go for a moment as he slowly regained control of himself, but which time he was completely exhausted.

Gently his brothers helped him to his feet and guided him over to the bed, Porthos pulled back the covers, while Aramis removed his boots and Athos helped him into bed, tucking him in and stroking his hair as sleep took d'Artagnan almost immediately.

"Are we going to be able to get him through this?" Porthos asked none of them had any experiance in dealing with something like this, simple physical torture, memories of bloody battle, waking from the death cries of enemies they had slain, of that they knew how to deal with, how to help comrades through, but of rape?, how were they supposed to help d'Artagnan deal with this?, when none of them knew how to deal with it themselves?.

A knock at the door drew their attention from the young Musketeer on the bed, and Treville came in carrying a breakfast tray 

"You`re all off duty indefinately, d'Artagnan needs you, and you need to be with him" the Captain said setting down the tray and straightening up depite the look on the faces of his Men.  
A lesser man would have balked at the naked anger on their faces, would have turned and left in fear knowing what the three of them were capable of, but Treville was no coward, and while they were angry and rightly so, he knew they would not attack him, they were too honourable for that.

"You have to tell us Captain" Aramis said "We need to know what happened if we`re to help d'Artagnan"

"You know whats happened" Treville replied "The who, where, and how, will not change anything, and the person responsible is not someone any of is can exact revenge on, not even The Cardinal can touch him", Treville was risking alot by saying this much, and none of his men were stupid, foolish it times, but not stupid, from he`d said they`d be able to figure things out for themselves without him having to break his word to either d'Artagnan or His Majesty`s confidence.

"You make it sound like The King himself did this!" Aramis said shaking his head and looking down at d'Artagnan trying to think of anyone that Richelieu would not have the power to attack if he wished, short of The King and The Royal family there was no one.......................,Aramis`s thoughts broke off as a single realisation came to him, one which if the expressions on Porthos and Athos`s face were anything to go by, they had reached aswell.

Gaston duc d'Orleans had shortly left Paris, had been here through out d'Artagnans "Mission", was it coinsidence that his time in Paris and d'Artagnan`s asult had taken place at the same time?.

"Monsieur le Duc d'Orleans" Athos whispered looking at Treville out of the corner of his eye 

"Is The Kings Brother and Heir to the Throne of France" Treville replied no real question had been asked, nore answered, yet the words told The Inseparables everything they needed to know, there had`nt been any mission, some how d'Artagnan had been in Gaston`s clutches, and The Duke had done this, The Kings Brother had raped, tortured, humiliated, and torn apart their baby brother, and there was`nt a damn thing any of them could do about it.

Had he been just some member of The Nobility then all of them would have thrown caution to the wind and ridden to their estates to get justice for d'Artagnan, but that was`nt option here, Gaston was above the law, without Louis express command they could not do a thing, and despite disliking his Brother, Louis was unlikely to act against him, certainly not to see him killed for his crimes.

"Bastard" Porthos breathed clenching his fists in frustration, he wanted to get justice for his little brother, wanted to make the person responsible pay for this, but he could not hunt down Gaston de Bourbon, could not kill a member of the Royal Family, Aramis muttered several impolite frazes in Spanish shaking his head in disgust, Athos looked down on d'Artagnan`s broken from, his heart breaking for him, any hopes of getting justice for d'Artagnan were now gone, all he could do was try and help him pick up the peices of his life and repair the damage that Gaston had done, forever being unable to make the sack of shit pay for what he`d done.


	6. Chapter 6

d'Artagnan awoke feeling like he`d been run over by a carriage!.

His whole body felt weigh down by lead!, his limbs wobbly and difficult to move as he tried to sit himself up in bed, the bed he had no recollection of getting into.

Wincing for the pain that shot through him as he struggled to get himself into a sitting position, d'Artagnan froze seeing Aramis, Athos, and Porthos in various positions about his room, all three of them sleeping.  
Athos was beside him, sat on a stool by the bed, his upper body slumped forward onto it and softly snoring, Aramis was propped up against Porthos`s thighs, as he slept on the floor, Porthos slumped in a chair with his head back against the wall snoring loud enough to wake the dead!.

Slowly memories of the day before, of his break down came back to d'Artagnan, of himself flailing on the floor, crying and acting like a useless child.

A sharp pain filled the back of his throat and tears pricked at his eyes, even as he tried to hold them back.

What had he done?, he had been trying to prove he was fit, and able to go back to work, and all he`d done was prove that he was useless!, had`nt even been able to control his own body!, had been acting like a lunatic!.

He clamped a hand over his mouth to prevent a sob from escaping his lips and waking the three Musketeers, shaming himself even more than he already had done, part of him a great part of him wanted to get up from the bed, escape his room and run, and to keep running until he had escaped all that was haunting him.

But he knew, just by how much his body was protesting the simple movment of sitting up in bed, that he would not make it even to the door without collapsing, just another sign of his disgusting weakness, his uselessness.

Why were The Inseparables here?, did`nt they know?, did`nt they see that he was ruined?, that he was just as worthless as Gaston had said. 

A cheap worthless whore, only good for fucking.

Well that was obvious was`nt it?, when he could`nt even breath with out help?, could`nt even get himself up from bed?, he was good for nothing, weak, defiled.

Had Gaston seen it in him the moment he had first caught sight of d'Artagnan, seen the signs of weakness on him, that marked him out as the perfect fuck toy for his use?.

Did everyone else know aswell?, had they seen it?, just been waiting for d'Artagnan to reveal his true colours, to show that he was worthless and useless, unfit to be a Musketeer, unfit for anything but........, d'Artagnan`s stomach clenched as a horrid thought crossed his mind, what if he was being kept here for The Musketeers use?, now they knew he was good at warming a bed, at bending over on command, they would be able to use him to slack their own lusts.

d'Artagnan did`nt want to believe it, did`nt want to think that Men as honourable as The Musketeers would stoop to asting as Gaston had, would asult him as Gaston had done.

Besides why would they want to sully themselves by touching his filthy body?, while he would be a cheaper fuck than the whores about the City, they would get far better from them, than they would from him.

Rolling over onto his side, d'Artagnan curled himself up into a ball, pressing his fist to his mouth and biting into his knuckles as tears slipped down his cheek and nose to damp the pillow.

Maybe Treville had ordered The Musketeers to show him kindness while his body healed, to make sure he was physically fit before he was stripped of his commison and cast out into the streets.

Yeah, that sounded like something Treville would do, he was not a cruel man, would not toss d'Artagnan out while he was still injured, he would want him fit enough to walk out of the Garrison under his own steam, but where would he go?, he had no where now, no home, not family, and hardly a sous to his name, once Treville through him out he`d be totaly destitute, and not only financially speaking, without The Inseparables he would have no friends, no one he could turn to for help.

Even after Lebarge had destroyed his farm he had not felt so desperate, had known that he had Athos, Aramis, and Porthos to help him, to stand by him, but now, after this, he knew they would not want him around, hanging about their necks like a weight stone, when Treville dismissed him from The Musketeers they would dismiss him from their brotherhood aswell.

d'Artagnan saw a gaping hollow where his life and destiny had once been, he felt like he was at the bottom of an impossibly deep pit with sides too high and too slippy to climb, all he could do was stare up at the bright sky far away from him, far out of his grasp as the earth beneath his feet continued to crumble and he continued to fall further and further down into the darkness until it swallowed him whole.

He had nothing left to him in this world now, no reason to stay alive.

 

 

Louvre 

 

"Treville!", The Captain looked up with a slight smile as Louis came over to him, dismissing his courtiers with a flick of his hand so he could draw Treville to one side and speak to him quietly.

"How is d'Artagnan, Treville, I have not seen him about the Court", Treville winced inwardly, he`d been expecting something like this, while his attention span was deplorably small, and his nature was admittedly shallow, Louis was not likely to forget what his Brother had done to d'Artagnan, nore fail to notice that he had`nt seen him since he`d sent d'Artagnan into Gaston`s bed.

"He is struggling your Majesty" Treville said carefully, he did`nt want to betray d'Artagnan`s trust, nore alarm The King, while The Musketeers could handle knowing about full details of what d'Artagnan had suffered, The King could not and Treville did not want to distress him.

Louis made a face rather like a pout, his gaze going past Treville to look out the window, "Did my Brother hurt him baddly Captain?" he asked looking back at him, "What did he do?, you have to tell me", Treville opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out, however the expression on his face was enough for Louis to read without being told what his brother had done in verbal details

"How can I be blood kin to such a monster?" he whispered looking away "How can the same parents produce such different offspring?"

"I don`t know your Majesty" Treville whispered swallowing past the tightness in his throat wishing he had some answer for The King, wishing he knew of some way to help d'Artagnan who seemed to be slipping further and further away from with every hour.

Since he had suffered the panic attack, he had become all but catatonic, he spoke only single word answers to questions, refused to talk about what had happened to him, pushed food away unless it was forced on him, and only then managed a few bites.

But more worrying was the darkness in his eyes, the empty dispair of someone who had completely given up on everything. 

While it was distressing to wittness, Treville would have rather had d'Artagnan having panic attacks, or ripping a room apart in temper, lashing out, screaming and shouting, at least he would be doing something!, showing that he was alive inside, not death waiting to happen.

"Do any of your men know?" Louis asked "They must know what has happened, but how it came about?"

"Athos, Aramis and Porthos know" Treville said "They managed to figure it out"

"And?"

"And Monsieur had better stay in Lorriane, because if he comes back to France I can not garentee his safety"

"Were he not family I`d gladly order them to do as they please to him!" Louis spat "God it makes me sick to be related to such a depraved excuse for a Human being", Louis shook his head and rubbed his face "Is there anything we can do for d'Artagnan?, Armand has promised him confession and absalution"

"I don`t think confession and absalution is what d'Artagnan needs, I`m not sure that there is anything anyone can do right now".

 

 

It was strange really, d'Artagnan had always thought that when someone was approaching death they would feel fear, fear over what awaited beyond the grave, and yet as he slowly walked to The Louvre he found himself feeling nothing at all.

It was as if he had become completely numb, as if nothing could touch him anymore, not cold, not pain, nothing.

For the last week he had laid in bed making plans, deciding on what best to do.

He knew he had no life anymore, if he could`nt be a Musketeer then there was no life left for him, and death was his only choice.

His first thought had been to shoot himself, or slash his wrists, but his weapons had been removed from his room making that impossible, hanging himself too was not an option since he had nothing to use to make a noose, so his final solution was to go back to the place where his disgrace had occured, to climb onto the roof of The Louvre and step off into the air.

Rather distantly he wondered if he would feel any pain as he hit the ground, if he would live long enough to feel the shattering of his bones, of his crushed organs bleeding out inside him, or if it would be so fast that he would simply depart this life in an instant.

He knew he should be fearing hell, for that was where his soul would go, God did not take suicides did he?, is`nt that what The Church said?, well maybe it would not be hell he went to, maybe he would have to spend time in Purgatory intil he had atoned, or if not, then he would gladly face the damnation of hell fire than drift aimlessly through this world like a ghost waiting to happen.

 

Since he was know at The Louvre, had been serving there since before his commison, no one questioned his presence, nore even glanced at him more than once as he made his way through the halls and stairs.

While he was wearing his uniform, he did not intend to besmirch the Musketeer name by committing suicide in it, he would removed his pauldron and cloak before took his last steps, would lay them aside so they would never be sullied by his actions.

Slowly now he made his way up the narrow stair case that lead onto the roof of The Louvre, Louis liked to look at The Stars, and be told of Astronomy, and The Louve roof gave an excelent view of the night sky.

Pushing open the door, he stepped out onto the roof top, his breath caught in the wind which was much feircer this high up in the air.

Looking about himself, he could see the whole of the Louvre grounds, the forrest where Louis liked to hunt, Paris and it`s dirty narrow streets, The steeple of Notre Dame, The Bascillica, he could even see The Seine winding it`s way through Paris with small dots of people moving about on the banks.

Slowly d'Artagnan undid the laces of his cloak and pulled it from his body, carefully he folded it up and lay it on the ground, unbuckling and placing his pauldron on top of it, stroking the cherished leather one last time, his fingers tracing where Athos and Porthos scarred the leather declaring that his uniform was too shiny and too new!.

He smiled a little at the memory of their sparing in Boubourne les eaux, at the gentle teasing he`d gotten from his mentors, he remembered how when the Queen ahd finished bathing and retired for the evening, the four of them had made use of the impossibly blue lake, and spent the better part of an hour trying to drown each other!, he remembered how he`d ended up on Athos`s shoulders the two of them splashing at Porthos before the largest Musketeer had wrestled him from Athos and dunked him under the water!.

Then once they had become too cold to continue playing in the water, they`d gone back up the bank and snuggled under blankets beside the fire, trading made up ghost stories that got more and more absurd as time had gone on, passing a bottle between them and sharing a bag of candied nuts from the confectioners, d'Artagnan had fallen asleep that night with Athos flush against his back, his warm breath mussing the back of d'Artagnan`s hair, and warm body lulling him into an easy sleep beneath the stars.  
Part of his wished he could jump back into the memory, could turn back time and live that precious day over again, to be able to cherish it all the more and enjoy the freedom and happiness he had then.

Would Athos, Aramis, and Porthos look back on that day with fondness?, would they miss him?, a little part of d'Artagnan twinged with guilt that he might be hurting them, but most him said that they would be releaved he was gone, that they would not have to worry about him anymore, he was doing them a favour really, and Treville one aswell, now they would`nt have to keep looking after him, nore would Treville had to strip him of his commision, this was definately for the best, for him and for everyone else.

With that resolve in his heart d'Artagnan made his way towards the edge of the roof, the toes of his boots pushed precariously over the side and he looked out over the land taking in as much as he could before he left the world for good.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou for the Kudos and comments and please keep them coming!

While Treville had put the Inseparables on indeffinate leave, he had been forced to withdraw the leave when several Musketeers were injured in a tavern collapse.

While none of the injurys were worse than a broken leg, it did mean that the regiment was down by several men, meaning that he had to have the Inseparables back on duty.

Since d'Artagnan was doing nothing but laying in bed sleeping or starring at the wall, they reluctantly left him in the care of others, who were to look in on him every hour, and to make sure he ate at least a few mothfulls of food, even if they had to force it down his throat!.

The official story given out to the Musketeers was that he`d been on a secret mission which had gone wrong and he had been severely tortured.

Treville and the Inseparables did not like lying to their fellow Musketeers, but they would not betray d'Artagnan`s confidence, so it was best to be economical with the truth.

 

As the three of them stood in the gardens at the Louvre, standing gaurd as The King strolled beside The Queen, all of them were impatiently figiting, eager to get back to d'Artagnan.

Each of them were worried for him, fearing that they were loosing him a little more each and everyday.

He was all but unresponsive to them, barely eating and drinking, not speaking, he was just laying there on his bed, listless and empty, like he had given up on everything.

There seemed to be no way to help him, not way to reach him and make him see that despite what he thought about himself, he was still a Musketeer, still strong, and if he would only let them help, then they could heal him.

But it seemed that no matter what they said, he would not listen, or could`nt listen, he stuck inside his own darkness, and was letting it eat him alive.

If it went on, then they all feared that they might loose him completely.

 

"How much longer we got to stand around doin` fuck all?" Porthos grunted flexing his toes in his boots tiredly 

"We`ve got another couple of hours yet mon ami" Aramis muttered rolled his head back and cracking it, he looked towards the sky, and tilted his head looking towards the palace and froze.

Right up there, on the top of the roof stood d'Artagnan!

"Oh my God!" he whispered his face turning ashen and his hand reaching for his cross 

"What?" Porthos asked grumpily frowing when Aramis did`nt reply, following his gaze his mouth dropped open with a strangled cry of alarm

"d'Artagnan!" Athos breathed breaking into a run towards the palace

"What is it?" Louis asked seeing the comotion as Athos bolted for the palace closely followed by Aramis and Porthos, 

"God in Heavon!" Richelieu swore his eyes catching sight of d'Artagnan, Louis, Treville, and Queen Anne following his gaze

"Oh no!" the Queen gasped her hand laying over her mouth 

"d'Artagnan" Treville whispered 

"What do we do?, what....., d'Art......" Louis was cut off mid paniced cry by Richelieu grabbing and a placing a hand over his mouth!

"Shouting will only startle him!, which is the last thing needed right now!" he hissed "His friends are going to him" he looked to Treville who nodded 

"A room should be prepared for him" Anne said swallowing hard, her usual creamy expression grey with fear "A doctor.........?"

"This is my fault!, it`s my fault!" Louis mumbled as Richelieu took his hand from his mouth "I should never have let Gaston.................I should................I did this!, I....."

"It`s not your fault Sire" Treville said gripping Louis shoulder only glancing as Richelieu began to pray for The Lords help "Athos will stop him" he whispered nodding his head as if to convince himself, "Athos will save him".

 

 

Athos, Aramis, and Porthos tore through the Louvre, running as fast as they could, shoving past guards, servents, and courtiers as they went, all but falling up the stairs as they took them three at a time to get out onto the roof top.

However, when they broke onto the roof they did not start shouting or run straight for d'Artagnan, instead they slowed down, panting heavily.

Athos wet his lips, holding up his hands gesturing for Aramis and Porthos wait, as he approached d'Artagnan, as carefully as one would walk towards a wild animal.

 

"Charles?" Athos said quietly so he would`nt startle the younger man, and considering his toes were over the edge of the roof, startling him would`nt be a good idea.

D'Artagnan`s head turned slightly but he did`nt reply to Athos, continuing to stare out across the grounds of the Louvre

"Charles come away from there, please" Athos said, his voice strained against his fear "Just step away from the edge and come back in with me"

"Go away Athos" d'Artagnan said, his voice empty of emotion 

"No, no I won`t leave you, just...........tell me......why are you up here?"

"You know why I`m here" d'Artagnan gave a mirthless laugh at this "You know what I`m doing"  
Athos bit at his lips stepping a little closer to d'Artagnan "Charles you don`t have to do this, please don`t do this"

"I have to" d'Artagnan whispered turning his head slightly, his grief darkened eyes looking at Athos "I can`t go on like this, I can`t be a Musketeer, and there`s nothing left in this world for me anymore"

"You can be a Musketeer, you are a Musketeer!" Athos cried walking a little closer "Why would you think otherwise?"

"You know why!, you know....................I`m ruined, disgusting!, I can`t............I have to do this Athos!, please!", he turned his head looking at him again "Please!, let me die with a little dignity" 

"There is no dignity in suicide!" Athos said "You are not ruined, you are not disgusting, you are the one good thing in my life!, the only good thing!", swallowing hard he looked behind him, where Aramis and Porthos were watching  
"Please" he whispered turning back to d'Artagnan "Please Charles, don`t leave me, don`t take away the last piece of good and light in this world, don`t do that to me", inching closer Athos went on, seeing shudders running through d'Artagnan`s body, and hearing a rapidity in his breathing, he was crying!, 

"Charles, if you do this then you won`t just be killing yourself, you`ll be killing me too!, is that what you want?, d`you want to kill me?" 

"No!" d'Artagnan sobbed out his shaking hands closing into fists "No I...........Athos please!, just go!, just let me do this!"

"That is never going to happen!, I will not allow you to step off this roof and kill yourself!, I swear to God if you do that, then I will jump after you!"

"You`re bluffing" d'Artagnan snorted shaking his head "You would`nt"

"I would, and d`you know why?", Athos got a little closer, within arms length of the younger Musketeer "D`you know why I`d do it?, because I would have nothing left to live for", this apparently gave d'Artagnan pause for thought, he shook his head glancing at Athos   
"Thats not true"

"Is`nt it?, why would I want to live, when the man I love has just killed himself?" 

D'Artagnan made a noise in his throat, shaking his head and biting at his lips, his body wavering precariously on the edge of the roof, "You don`t love me Athos, you can`t love me"

"Why?, why can`t I?"

"Because.......because I`m....................how could you love me?" d'Artagnan asked "After what Gaston`s done to me?"

"Because you are beautiful, what he`s done dos`nt change that, it`s he who is disgusting, he who is tainted and evil!, and he who I blame!, you are not!, you are a survivor!, a warrior!, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, you saved me from myself, brought me back to life when I thought no one could!, you have made me happier and more alive than I have been in years!, and believe it or not, I love you!, I love your stubborn nature!, your humour!, the way you get giggly and clingy when drunk!, your puppy like smile!, I love everything about you and nothing will ever change that, nothing save for you destroying yourself"

"Gaston has destroyed me" d'Artagnan whispered 

"Only if you let him!, only if you give up, and the d'Artagnan I know and love would not be such a coward!, he would not give in and allow a spoiled twisted bastard to destroy him", d'Artagnan was breathing heavily now and shaking violently "Let me help you" Athos said "Come back with me, let me help you please"   
"I don`t know if I can be helped" d'Artagnan whispered looking at Athos, his face tear streaked "I`m scared"

"I know" Athos said holding out his hand "I`ll help you I promise", d'Artagnan bit his bottom lip, his hands shaking violently as he reached back and took Athos`s hand allowing the older man to pull him to saftey and hold him tight against his chest   
"Thankyou!, thankyou!" Athos breathed kissing d'Artagnan`s head as Aramis and Porthos ran over, "It`s alright now, everything is going to be alright now".


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings, mentions of Suicide

For the longest time Athos just held d'Artagnan as he sobbed into his chest, gently lowering them both to the floor and wrapping his arms about the younger man who was clinging tightly to his doublet as all the pain, the fear, the uncertainty came flooding out of him.

Athos made no move to leave the roof top, or to disturb d'Artagnan as he wept, he simply held him, rubbing his back, stroking his hair, and whispering to him words of comfort and reassurance.  
Standing guard besides them, Porthos and Aramis remained, keeping enough distance so they would not crowd d'Artagnan whom they suspected would likly react baddly to alot of people, but staying close enough so they he would know they were not now, and never would give up on him.

Presently Treville appeared on the roof, panting from having run from the garden as soon as he had seen Athos talk d'Artagnan down.

"Captain" Aramis greeted walking over to him and keeping his voice soft so as not to alarm d'Artagnan 

"The King is ordering a guest room be made up for d'Artagnan, for as long as he wants" Treville said looking over at the huddled figures of d'Artagnan and Athos "He`s also to be given anything and everything he needs"

"I don`t know what he needs" Aramis said "But I do know what I need, what I need is ten minutes alone with Monsieur duc d` fucking Orleans!, think you can arange that Sir?"

Treville gave Aramis a sad smile, they both knew that there was nothing he could do, Monsieur was beyond their reach, all they could do now was to try and help d'Artagnan pick up the pieces.

 

Eventually d'Artagnan`s tears subsided, and he was able to calm down enough to sit back and wipe his face on his sleeve, giving a wet chuckle when Athos handed him a handkerchief "Thankyou", he mumbled wiping his eyes and blowing his nose 

"Always" Athos replied meaning far more than just the handkerchief, d'Artagnan looked behind him, at the ledge where he had just been standing, where he had been preparing to jump 

"I was really going to do it you know" d'Artagnan whispered  
"I know" Athos said.

D'Artagnan nodded, his puffy eyes looking out over the land, looking at where he had been planning to end his life, his mind conjured images of himself having taken that leap, having turned to Athos and given one last goodbye before he stepped out into the air and plunged to his death.

He imagined the sight of Athos crumpling to his knees with a cry of anguish, Aramis and Porthos running over and grabbing hold of him, preventing him from leaping after d'Artagnan, from joining him on the ground below, his bones shattered, and blood pooled under his head that had split open like a melon.

D'Artagnan flinched as he felt finger tips under his chin, turning his head he saw Athos smiling at him, though the smile did`nt reach his eyes, he looked tired, exhausted in fact, his eyes blood shot, and darkly shadowed from lack of sleep and too much worry, worry that d'Artagnan realized had been about him.

For the first time since Gaston had abused him, d'Artagnan felt something for someone other than himself, he felt sorry for Athos, sorry that the Musketeer had been so worried, worried for him!, because of him!, this in turn added a feeling of guilt that made d'Artagnan surge forward so hard he nearly knocked Athos off his feet as he hugged him!.

"I`m sorry!, I`m so sorry!" he mumbled into Athos`s neck "I love you!, you know that don`t you?"

"I do now whelp!" Athos laughed ruffling his hair and chucking him under the chin as he lifted his head "How about we go back inside and take advantage of The Kings cheffs?, he`s got a dreadfully sweet tooth, I`ll bet there`s somethig delicious being cooked up"

"You always say sugar is bad for my teeth" d'Artagnan said "Said I`ll end up loosing them all and you`ll have to start leaving money under my pillow!"

"Well yeah!" Athos shrugged "But I think we can make an exception for once, besides", he added looking at d'Artagnan`s emciated frame "You look like you could do with fattening up some!", the jibe against his skinny body made d'Artagnan giggle a little, and he allowed Athos to pull him to his feet, and lead him into The Louvre, Aramis, Porthos, and Treville following behind them.

 

 

The Cheff did not disapoint, knowing Louis adoration of all things sweet, a sinful ammount of desserts were sent up to the guest chambers d'Artagnan was given.

It took multipul servents carrying multipul trays to bring the dishes up to the rooms, with Porthos salivating over the decedant spread as it was laid out on the table.

There were Chocolait eclairs, Pain au chocolait, Mille Feuille, Profiteroles swimming in melted chocolate, Tarte Tatin, Clafoutis, and Crepe Suzette!, not to mention a soup dish sized bowl of hot chocolate for them to drink from!.  
"Now this is what I call paradise!" Porthos declared eagerly digging into the confectionary, whipped cream smearing onto his beared as he sank his teeth into a Mille Feuille

"I think I died and went to heavon!" Aramis agreed rolling his eyes as he dug into a crepe 

"Alright?" Athos asked as d'Artagnan took a bite of a Pain au chocolait, eating without being forced into doing so.

For the first time in weeks the food tasted like food instead of ashes, the sweet pastry and rich chocolate rich in his mouth as he chewed, savouring it on his tongue   
"I`m alright" he replied to Athos, he was not truely alright, would not be for some time to come, but at this present moment, he felt like he might one day be so again, he even managed a smile as Aramis poured him a cup of hot chocolate doing the same to Porthos and Athos before serving himself and making a lewd noise as he drank, sounding like he was having an orgasem!

"Can you show some decency?" Athos scolded "We are trying to eat!"

"Depends on what you`re eating!" Aramis leered back, then mentally kicked himself, sexual inuendo proberly not being the best thing bring up at this moment, however d'Artagnan laughed it off, actually appreciating the normal behavior of his friends, making him feel a little more normal himself.

Towards the end of the very unhealthy meal, Treville came in, rolling his eyes at the sight of his best soldiers stuffed with confectionary, all of them having smudges of cream and chocolate about their mouths, and still picking at the remains of the food, relaxed and giggly from the sugar high,  
"So when you`re puffing and panting your way through training and complaining your belts are too tight I`ll know why!" he chuckled 

"Captain!, come and join us!, theres some profiteroles left!, and Porthos has`nt guzzled down all the hot chocolate and eclairs!" Aramis called 

"Hey!" Porthos protested throwing a peice of pastry at Aramis "You practically devoured the crepes on your own!"

"If you two are going to start fighting then you can go to bed!" Athos scolded sounding like an exasperated parent!

"Thankyou all!" Treville said pulling up a chair and eyeing d'Artagnan who was sleepily stirring a spoon about his hot chocolate looking ready to fall asleep any minute "I just wanted to tell you, that The King is extending his hospitality to all of you, for however long as is required, however," here Treville paused and smiled "If you continue to make use of the confectionary kitchen, then he`ll likely be joining you for meals up here aswell!"

"He might find that he`ll go hungry!" Athos drawled indicating the meagre remains to the spread the four of them had devoured, he frowned when d'Artagnan yawned for the third time in as many minutes, and rose to his feet "Looks like it`s someones bed time" he declared giving d'Artagnan a pointed look

"Oh come on!" d'Artagnan protested weakly, his eyelids rebelling against his determination to stay wide awake, and drooping down so he looking at Athos through his lashes, "M'not tired yet!" he added trying to stiffle another yawn 

"No, thats why you`re yawning your head off and nearly face planted yourself in the remains of your hot chocolate!" Porthos teased, getting a sour look from the Gascon 

"S'too early for bed, m'not a child!" d'Artagnan said looking like a sleepy puppy fighting to keep his eyes open!.

Exchanging an amused glance with Porthos, Athos nodded his head, and the large Musketeer proceeded to pick d'Artagnan up like a child and carry him over to the bed ignoring his sleepy protests about not being tired, and laid him down on the bed any way!.

Treville bid them a goodnight, leaving them to it, as Aramis, Athos, and Porthos proceeded to swiftly strip d'Artagnan of his breeches, doublet, shirt, and boots, and place him in a night shirt and tuck him into the bed. 

Despites his protests about not being tired, d'Artagnan swiftly succumbed to sleep, snuggling down under the thick quilt and making soft snuffling snores that sounded rather like a cat purring.

 

"We should sleep in shifts" Aramis whispered running a hand through his unruly curls, "He could still be........" he broke off unwilling to say the word suicidal, and wet his lips hoping that Athos and Porthos would understand what he meant

"I`ll take first watch" Porthos said "Four hour shifts?"

"Wake me at One" Athos said taking off his doublet and unlacing his shirt to make himself more comfortable, kicking off his boots he got onto the bed behind d'Artagnan, stilling when the younger man moaned and shifted, then relaxed with a smile as d'Artagnan unconciously snuggled into him burrying his face into the crook between Athos`s neck and shoulder

"He really loves you, you know that right?" Aramis asked settling down on the chaise with a couple of pillows behind him, "I mean loves you, not just as a friend"

"I did`nt know it" Athos replied, "Not till today, I thought I was doomed to feel for him and never have that reciprocated"

"And now you know different?" Porthos asked raising an eyebrow, Athos sighed and shrugged, shaking his head hopelessly,

"Before Monsieur, I would have courted him and made my desires known without fear once I knew he felt the same, but now?, now, how will he ever be able to bear the touch of another man?, how will he ever want to have me or any man in his bed after what that Son of a whore has done to him?"

"Rape is`nt the same as sex Athos" Aramis said "Rape is about violence, about pain and control, about forcably taking from another, it`s cruel, ugly and disgusting, Sex is about mututal pleasure, about love or lust, it`s about sharing passion, and desire, about creating something special and beautiful, what you want with d'Artagnan is very, very different to what Monsieur has done to him"

"But in the physical sense the act is the same" Athos said "Violent or not, nothing can change the actions"

"No, but, think of it this way" Aramis countered "One man shoots another through the heart with a musket so he can take from him, his jewelery, his purse, and his sword, he murders him so he can rob him. Now, another Man shoots another through the heart with a Musket, because that other man is threatening to slit the throat of child, technically the act is the same, both men have now taken a life, and they did it in the same manor, but is it the same?"

"No, of course not" Porthos said "One was a murder, the second was to save the life of a child, they were completely different.............., oh!" he sighed and smiled "I understand"  
"As do I" Athos said with a smile to Aramis "However, a logical argument will not solve all of d'Artagnan`s problems, it`ll take alot more than that to heal his wounds".

 

 

Treville was met in the corridor by Richelieu, it was only through years of dealing with the enigmatic Cardinal and Minister of France, that he did not flinch when the man suddenly appeared beside him as silent as a cat.

"How is young d'Artagnan?" Richelieu asked easily falling into pace beside Treville as he walked through the Louvre

"Sleeping" Treville replied "He ate a........unhealthy amount of sugar for dinner, but at least he ate, for the first time in weeks I think"

"His state of mind?", Richelieu showed no emotion as Treville shot him a cold look before answering the question

"He`s not going to heal over night, he`s..........." Treville stopped dead in the corridor running a hand over his face "He`s not the first suicide I`ve seen" 

Richelieu blinked and frowned at Treville, "I beg your pardon?"

"When I was in Military academy" Treville explained "There was a young lad there, he......., he did`nt really want to be there, he was`nt cut out to be soldier, he was a kind and gentle soul, a man who would have trouble killing a mouse let alone another human, but his bully of a Father had forced him to become a soldier or to starve on the streets as a disowned disgraced Son of a Noble house"

"What happened?" Richelieu asked his voice softer than normal

"He was, he was no more picked on than the rest of us by our drill sergent, the man was a bastard to all of us, gave me a fair few lashes over my time there!, but between his shouting, and corporal punishment, His Fathers threats and bullying, and fear of being thrown out onto the streets, the poor boy just could`nt take it anymore, after he`d received another ear bending from the Sergent and a scathing letter from his Father he............, he........, he put his Musket in his mouth".

Treville broke off shaking his head, "The Sergent may have been a bastard, but he was`nt heartless, he knew that the lad had killed himself, but he lied to the priest, and to the boys Father, he said that it had been an accident, that the Gun had jammed and backfired, he did it so he could be given a proper burrial and blessings"

"I`m sorry" Richelieu whispered with genuine compassion

"Thankyou" Treville said looking up at the normally stoic and cold man, taking a deep breath he straightened himself up regaining his normal militant stance, "So, how is his Majesty taking all this?"

"Louis is disgusted that he shares blood with such a Monster" Richelieu replied "He wants to make Monsieur pay for his crimes, but does not know how to do so without causing a diplomatic incident"

"Does everything always have to come back to politics?" Treville snorted with disgust

"When one is talking about Princes I am afraid so!" 

"Then what are we to do about it?".


	9. Chapter 9

Smack!, the leather belt, and metal buckles came down across d'Artagnan`s backside leaving a thick red welt in it`s wake, the Musketeer let out a horse cry of pain, his hands fisting the bloody bed sheets, and body jolting from the force of the blow

"Get up!, get off the bed Bitch!" Gaston shouted bringing the belt down again, this time across the top of d'Artagnan`s thighs "Dogs don`t sleep on beds they sleep on floors!" the deranged Prince snarled beating at d'Artagnan`s back and legs and buttocks as he weakly slipped to the floor.

His knees gave out the second his feet touched the round, and he fell in a bloody heap on the soft carpet, trying to curl himself into a ball as Gaston continued to rain blows down onto him, kicking him, and berating him.

"Come on bitch!, on your knees!, beg like a dog, like the dog bitch you are!" Gaston spat yanking on the rope about d'Artagnan`s throat forcing him to jerk up onto his knees, pain radiating through his body as every wound was agravated by the action  
"Now crawl like a dog!, crawl bitch!, now!", the belt lashed his shoulders and back until d'Artagnan was crawling across the floor on his hands and knees towards the table where Gaston had his dinner laid out.

At the table he brutally pulled on the rope making d'Artagnan stop and get under the table, crouched on all fours.

Sitting himself down, Gaston tied the rope to his chair and undid the buttons to his breeches "Suck me" he demanded "Suck me until I tell you to stop, swallow every time I come, if you spit, or vomit I`ll make you lick it up off the floor!"

D'Artagnan`s stomach lurched in revulsion as he was yanked forward, his nose touching Gaston`s crotch, hot tears filling his eyes as he gently took the flacid member into his hand, fighting his rising nausea as he brought it to his lips, making himself take the cock into his mouth, to lick and suckle at it.

"You even think about using your teeth I`ll remove them, one by one" Gaston said quite calmly as he cut up his meat and ate.

The stench of the food, comining with the smell of Gaston`s penis made d'Artagnan`s stomach churn, his mouth was too dry, and his throat ached as he forced himself to suck and tease Gaston`s hardening length.

The Prince was not overly blessed, his penis was small was small for a fully grown man, but it might aswell have been gargantuan as Gaston tugged on the rope about d'Artagnan`s throat, pulling his head down and forcing him to take the length deeper.

The smell of sweat, piss, and expensive perfume assulted d'Artagnan`s nose which was burried in Gaston`s pubic hair, his face itched and tears flowed down his cheeks as he suckled and inexpertly brought Gaston to release down his throat.

The moment he felt the sticky slimy fluid sliding down his gullet he thought he would vomit, the vile sensation coupled with Gaston`s flacid lenth over his tongue, and the smell of his poorly washed parts made d'Artagnan sick to his stomach, if only he could drawn his face away and breath clean air, if he could have a drink of water to wash his mouth out, if he could be allowed to get his breathing under control.

But no, he was forced to remain as he was, panting about Gaston`s cock until the prince had recovered enough to start again, and then again, and again.

All through out the meal d'Artagnan was forced to repeat the act until Gaston simply could`nt get it up anymore at which point he forceably yanked d'Artagnan up, hitting his head on the table and forced the Gascon to kneel between his thighs while Gaston`s hands caressed his bruised and cut face, fingers tracing his swollen lips and tear stained cheeks  
"Good little bitch" he praised maliciously "I always treat my dogs when they`re good"  
He took tiny portions of meat from his plate and dropped it on the floor "Eat!" he comanded "Off the floor like the bitch you are!"

When d'Artagnan tried to pick the morsels up with his hand Gaston stamped his boot down onto them making d'Artagnan yelp for the pain   
"You`re a dog!" he screamed "Eat like one!", seizing the back of d'Artagnan`s neck he pushed him face first into the carpet, forcing him to consume the meat from the floor like a dog, then pulled hard on the rope dragging d'Artagnan back to the bed and throwing him on it face first pulling the rope taut and tieing it back in place   
"I`m too spent to take you with my cock!" he breathed into d'Artagnan`s ear "But the hilt of my sword should do well in it`s place!"..........

 

 

Shrill screaming awoke Athos acompanied by flailing limbs as d'Artagnan fought an invisible foe in a throws of his nightmare  
"Wake up!, you`re safe d'Artagnan, just wake up!" he cried grabbing the wrists of his friend before he was punched by flying fists 

"It`s okay d'Art you`re alright!" Aramis soothed getting on the bed beside d'Artagnan and lightly tapping his cheek to bring him round 

Frightened brown eyes shot open, and for a moment it looked like d'Artagnan did`nt know where he was, then he gagged, wrenching his hands free from Athos he clamped one over his mouth, making to get from the bed, quick as a flash Porthos brought the pot over and held it under d'Artagnan`s mouth as he vomited up everything in his stomach.

Aramis gently pulled his hair back from his face, while Athos rubbed his back, whispering soothing words until the retching passed and they were able to settle d'Artagnan back down on the bed.

Silently Porthos went to dispose of the pot, while Aramis went for water and a towel to clean d'Artagnan up a bit, while Athos held his hands, his thumbs rubbing a pattern over them   
"Can you talk about it?" he asked 

"About what?" d'Artagnan whispered quickly accepting the water Aramis brought back and drinking hurriedly, the cool cloth Aramis wiped over his face was a gift from God, and d'Artagnan found himself leaning into the touch gratefully

"What you were dreaming about" Athos said tucking the covers back up about d'Artagnan 

"You know what" the Gascon mumbled 

"We can guess it was Gaston, but not what he was doing to you" Aramis said setting the empty glass and cloth down, to perch on the side of the bed, briefly looking up when Porthos returned with the cleaned out Pot, "If you tell us it will help break the hold the nightmares have on you, trust me, I know"

It was`nt so much the fear of telling them what Gaston had been doing to him in the dream, the memory of what he had done to him, it was more the shame of it that made d'Artagnan reluctant to speak, yet slowly but surely, with his three friends sitting around him, offering support, encouragement, and love, he managed to get the whole sorry story out, feeling like he`d had a weight lifted from him as he did, but also been winded and exhausted by doing so aswell.

Athos, Aramis, and Porthos did not bother to offer him platitudes of appologies, nore did they pet and paw at him to show comfort, they simply stayed at his side, listening to him speak, the depths of their feelings showing in their eyes and expressions with the need for words or actions.

Tiredly d'Artagnan yawned, feeling the call of the soft pillows once more, "Lay down love" Athos said tucking the covers about him, as d'Artagnan allowed himself to slide back into the warm nest of sheets, a sleepy smile gracing his face as Athos`s calloused hands tucked the covers under his chin, and stroked his cheek 

"Rest now mon Petiti Gascon, we`ll speak more when you wake", d'Artagnan would have nodded, would have spoken, but the need to sleep was too urrgent, and he felt himself falling back into slumber, this time without any dreams to disturb him again, and did not wake until several hours later, to the smell of food being brought into the chambers.

 

 

Rubbing his face, d'Artagnan yawned and stretched. half expecting to see breakfast, only to his astonishment he found that the sun was high in the sky, and Luncheon was being served!.

A creamy leek and potatoe soup, freshly baked bagguettes, cold cuts of ham, and chicken, along with a round of dutch cheese that had a smokey scent and taste, and a dessert of raspberry sylabubs topped with whipped cream and sugar dusted raspberrys.

"Ah sleeping beauty awakes without the kiss of a handsome Prince!" Aramis joked as d'Artagnan padded through from the bed room into the dining area 

"Why did`nt you wake me?" he asked amazed to find his stomach actually rumbling with desire for food 

"You looked so contented we could`nt bear to disturb you" Porthos replied "Now, if you want to wash up, you have time to do so before we eat, the dishes`ll keep the food warm long enough, and if you`re feeling up to it, we can take a walk about the gardens this afternoon"

"I`d like that" d'Artagnan agreed happily heading to the basin to wash his face, and splash himself over in cool water, hurriedly toweling himself dry and changing into a fresh shirt and breeches that must have been brought from the garrison for him.

Feeling refreshed and hungry he happily came back to the table sitting down and hungrily eating much to the amusment and relief of his friends, happy to see him eating again

"Wheres Athos?" he asked after several mouthfulls of soup 

"Treville summoned him" Aramis replied breaking apart a bagguette and dipping it into the soup "He`ll be back later"

"Did you sleep well?" Porthos asked cutting some of the cheese for himself 

"Yeah, I did`nt dream either, or I don`t remember if I did"

"Good, thats good" Aramis said smiling at d'Artagnan "Eventually the dreams will get less and less, and the more you speak of them, or what you have endured, the less hold it will have over you"

"Was it like that for you?" d'Artagnan asked biting his bottom lip "After Savoy?"

"It was" Aramis said "I could`nt sleep for weeks without nightmares, I`d have panic attacks trying to go out the front door, I felt sick trying to eat anything!, I thought I`d go mad!, and I proberly would have", Aramis shot a grin at Porthos "If it had`nt been for Athos, and Buggerlugs here!"

"Hey!, watch who yer callin` Buggerlugs!"

"What I`m saying d'Art is that, you will heal from this given time" Aramis said reaching across the table and squeezing d'Artagnan`s hand "It won`t be easy or quick, but you will get through it, and come out stronger in the end, and d`you know why?"

"Why?" d'Artagnan shook his head not feeling especially strong right now, nore imagining he ever would again

"You`ll be stronger because you`ll have survived the worst that can be done to a person, you`ll have fought through it all, and survived to still be standing once more and that will give you a strength you never even knew existed".

 

 

Palais Cardinal

 

"I take it you would like to make Monsieur pay for his actions?" Richelieu to Athos as he and Treville sat before his desk glasses of wine before them but untouched, and the room devoid of servents

"Of course" Athos said "I want to rip him apart for what he`s done, but how?"

"There are ways" Richelieu smirked "According to my spies in Lorraine he frequents a very specialized brothel, one for the perverse and sadistic", the Cardinals tapering fingers tapped his desk as his devilish cold smile grew, "He goes alone save for a single guard who is mute, his tongue was lost by means unknown, so he can never speak of what occurs in that place"

"Nore will he be able to report what happens to Monsieur if he were some how captured" Treville said "Bandits saddly exist in all countrys, and if some way lay Monsieur on his way to the brothel then.....well what can be done about it?"

"A most regretable occurance!" Athos drawled getting the picture "I take it His Majesty does not know anything of these.......plans?"

"Only that his Brother will be punished, and he has given a free hand to those who will do so" Richelieu replied "There will be no reports for this, no orders, nothing, you and your friends will go into Lorraine under cover, seek out Monsieur and do as you will to him, then you will leave just as quietly as you arrived"

"I think that can be arranged" Athos said "Under one condition"

"What condition?"

"d'Artagnan must never know what we do, he has an innocent heart and it would not sit well with him to know that his friends have.........acted like this in his name"

"As far as he`ll be concerned you`ll be on business in Nantes" Treville replied "As will everyone else, only myself, the Cardinal, His Majesty, and the three of you will know the truth, it is very unlikly that Monsieur will want the full details of his depravity to come out, so he will never speak of what you do to him"

"Very well then" Athos agreed lifting his wine and drinking "When d'Artagnan is fit enough to be left, we`ll seek out justice for him".


	10. Chapter 10

"Thats right whore, swallow it all down, suck it in properly" Gaston cooed as he held d'Artagnan`s hair tightly in his fist, pressing d'Artagnan`s face into his crotch making him suck on his cock and swallow his seed.

D'Artagnan felt the vile fluids sitting heavy in his belly, repeatedly scraped his tongue over his teeth when Gaston finally lifted his head and let him fall to the floor again, over and over he scraped his tongue, trying to get the taste out of his mouth, digging his teeth in so hard he actually drew blood!.

"You know I`ve got something special for you!" Gaston said making d'Artagnan shiver, dreading what was to come, something special for him was not going to be something pleasent or beautiful, but something horrific, something that would make him hurt even more than he already did.

Gaston`s boots appeared before d'Artagnan`s face, and the Musketeer forced himself to look up at The Prince, who held in his hands what looked like a long beaded necklace, except the beads were not made of wood and polished up and painted to imitate pearls, nore were they rosary beads, these were made of metal with sharp pointed edges creating a diamond like shape, with them was a metal cage with barbed edges that had d'Artagnan shuddering since by the shape and size of it, there was only one place it was going to go.

"On the bed Bitch" Gaston ordered, part of d'Artagnan wanted to protest, to scream, to beg even!, Gaston had actually brought him to the point where he was ready to beg for mercy!, but he already knew that if he tried to delay then it would be worse for him, alot worse.

With silent tears flowing down his cheeks, he climbed onto the bed laying on his back and gazed resolute at the ceiling, his eyes searching the frescoes painted there beautifully, trying to focus his mind on them, to loose himself in the heavon picture so he would not have to think about Gaston taking that cage and putting it on his cock, the barbs and straps digging into his sensative flesh, making him whimper and cringe for the pain 

"Oh it gets better than this Bitch, much better than this!" Gaston breathed, climbing onto the bed and shoving at d'Artagnan`s hip, making him roll over and lay on his front, the pressure to his cock was increased, making him hurt all the more, he closed his eyes, trying to make the image of the frescoes play in his mind, to loose himself in them, but as soon as the first bead was pushed inside his abused hole it was all he could do not to scream in pain!.

"So loose, so easy!, you were made for this you filthy slut!" Gaston laughed as pushed bead after bead inside d'Artagnan, enjoying the sobs and groans his actions were causing, as the beads were pushed deeper, they not only tore his flesh, but pushed against his prostate making him aroused against his will, and as his cock swelled the barbs dug in deeper than ever, the cap at the top pushing down painfully on the head of his cock, so d'Artagnan was in agony both inside and outside of his body.

With a final shove Gaston had all the beads inside d'Artagnan and tugged playfully at them making him shriek in pain and clench at the bed sheets with his fists, tears flowing down his cheeks

"On your back again slut" Gaston ordered slapping d'Artagnan`s arse but kept hold of the ring on the beads so they dig in deeper and tormented him all the more as he was forced to move, "Ah!" Gaston crowed seeing d'Artagnan throbbing, caged cock, "Look how much you enjoy this you whore!, see how much you`re getting off on me giving this to you!", his hands stroked the tormented flesh making d'Artagnan cry harder, hating his body for showing pleasure in his torment, for betraying him like this.

"You want this don`t you?" Gaston said his hand closing about d'Artagnan`s length and squeezing, his other hand tugging on the beads "Tell me you want it, tell me how much you love this"

"I love it, I want it so bad" d'Artagnan whispered past numb lips "Please!, Please!"

"Please what?, pleasure fuck you again?, what a greedy whore!, nine beads in there and still wants more!" Gaston laughed cruely and with a flick of his wrist tore the beads out of d'Artagnan with a spray of blood and an anguished scream from the young man who managed to hold onto his consciousness for a few more moments but as Gaston sank his own flesh inside his bleeding and hole everything went black.

 

The Louvre 

D'Artagnan was sick of having nightmares, of not being able to get more than two or three hours of sleep without being awoken in a cold sweat, he hated that The Inseparables were having to sleep in shifts about him, always with one keeping an eye so he could be awoken when the nightmares got too bad.

Last nights had been one of his worst, remembering those beads, how he`d been torn inside, how his cock had throbbed and burned inside that cage, desperate for release in all senses but trapped until Gaston felt he`d suffered enough and allowed him to spill, only to torment him all the more doing so.

D'Artagnan really did`nt know what to do anymore, he wanted to talk, but he could`nt bring himself to speak of what had happened, the shame of what had been done to him robbed him of his words, made him unable to speak of his rape and torture.

When he voiced this problem to The Inseparables, he had expected them to say that they would not be shocked by anything he described, and that he could tell them anything, but instead Aramis suggested something else.

Something that he believed could help d'Artagnan take the first steps to getting this out of his system, and unburden his heart and soul.

"I really don`t know how to describe it, how to put it all into words, it`s all a jumble inside my head, a jumble thats hurting!, thats making me hurt!", d'Artagnan sighed and looked at Aramis shaking his head, on the desk before him was a leather bound book, an ink well, quill, and several nibs.

Aramis had come up with the suggestion that d'Artagnan write down what he was feeling, what he was thinking, what had happened to him during his captivity, to get everything out, if not in verbalization, then on paper so it would not be bottle up inside his head and causing him so much pain.

"Well why not write that?" Aramis said "Write out that you don`t know how to express what your feeling, that it`s causing you confusion and frustration"

"That seems kind of lame" d'Artagnan said doubtfully

"You might find it helps inspire you, makes the words come easier", Aramis patted d'Artagnan`s shoulder leaving him to it.

Twisting his lips he picked up the quill and dipped it into the ink.

'I don`t know what to say'

'I don`t know what to write'

'It hurts, everything hurts, my head, my heart, even breathing hurts!, it`s like I`ve got this huge lump inside my head thats weighing me down, making me tired all the time and hurting all the time!'

'Why does it still hurt like this?, why can`t I just put it behind me?, I`ve been wounded before, hell I`ve been shot and I got over it quicker than this!?, why do I feel like this?, why does what Gaston did stick inside my head?, haunt my dreams so much that I can`t sleep without nightmares?'

'Will I ever be able to sleep again?, am I ruined for life?, Athos dos`nt think so, nore do Porthos and Aramis, but it`s Athos who saved me, he would`nt let me jump, he pulled me back from the edge and held me, made me feel safe and loved.   
Loved, Athos said he loves me, I`ve wanted him to say that for so long, I`ve dreamed of him saying it, before all this, I`ve dreamed of him telling me that he loves me and wants to be with me like I do him'

D'Artagnan smiled as he re read the words he`d just written down, perhaps Aramis was right, perhaps this was the way forward, he`d started out not knowing what to write, and yet as he`d gone on, he`d written down half a page and more was still coming.

'I want to believe Athos, I want to believe that I can heal, that I can be strong and get through all this, that maybe one day I`ll............, I`ll what?, have sex with him?, Athos said he loves me, but does he love me like that?, does he love me as a friend, a brother, or like I do him?, and if he does then can I be with him like that?, let him.....do that to me?, would`nt it be the same as what Gascon did?'

'No No!, Athos would`nt be like that!, he`d be gentle, he`d be....different, he would`nt....would`nt.........he`d never hurt me, he`s a gentleman, a true blue blooded gentleman, he`d rather naw his own arm off than ever hurt me, God!, when he accidently cut my arm during training he turned so white I thought he was going to faint!, and he appologised do much I had to beg him to stop since it was getting embaressing!, when we worked out the plan stop Milady and he had to shoot me he was terrified!, had to drink himself half into a coma just to raise the gun at me!.

D'Artagnan grinned thinking of how solicitous Athos ahd been to him after the Milady fiasco, how he`d run about after him, insisting he take it easy, rest and relax, insisting on buying him a new shirt instead of just letting Aramis stitch his old one, buying him us favourite foods, all but tucking him into bed at night!.

'I bet he`d be the type to do alot of kissing and cuddeling, using his lips and his hands to do the talking, rather than words, I bet he takes his time too, dos`nt rush things, likes to make it all last as long as possible, draw everything out so each and every moment is imprinted on the mind for eternity'.

 

 

"So hows he doing?" Athos asked as he and Aramis stood in the doorway watching the younger man write 

"Pretty well I`d say" Aramis replied "He`s been writing furiously for the last hour"

"And you really think this will help him?", Aramis turned to Athos with a smile 

"It helped me after Savoy, keeping a diary, writing down what I was feeling, what I was thinking, even if it did`nt relate to Savoy, it helped bring things out, helped me get everything straight in my head, when I first started writing I did`nt think it was going to help me, but then as I wrote everything down, let it all come out I realized that I felt better, that I was`nt dwelling on what had happened, I was able to think of other things, live my life without that cloud hanging over me, I was healing, and d'Artagnan will too"

"Should`nt he talk about it though?" Athos asked "talk to us?"

"Eventually he will" Aramis replied "But he needs to sort it out in his head first, work out how to say what he wants to say, to write down things he scared of saying, scared of how we`d react to the words, a piece of paper can`t judge Athos, only people can do that"

"I will never judge him" Athos stated 

"I know Athos, but d'Artagnan needs to gain confidence first, this is`nt because he dos`nt trust you, or a judgement on you, it`s simply because he needs time to arrange things in his own mind before he can tell you about it" Aramis crossed the room and rested his hands on Athos`s shoulders "You are the most important person to him, he loves you like you love him, you saved his life, saved him from himself, he wants to be worthy of you, wants to make you proud, that means that approaching you is going to be harder than speaking to me or Porthos, because he`s scared of letting you down, of loosing your love"

"He never will, that will never happen" 

"I know, but you have to give him time, be patient, let him do this in his own time, the best thing you can do is be supportive, and affectionate"

"Affectionate?" Athos frowned "Won`t that scare him?, make things harder for him?"

"I don`t mean stick your tongue down his throat you fool!, I mean smile at him, kiss his cheek, squeeze his hand, give him hugs, signs of affection that can be both friendly aswell as romantic", squeezing his shoulders Aramis patted Athos`s back and left him to watch d'Artagnan write.

 

 

By the time d'Artagnan stopped writing his right hand was cramped, and his little finger covered in ink!. 

Somehow once he`d started writing, the words had just flowed, he`d written how he was feeling, what he was thinking about without even realizing it.

As he stretched and rose from the table he was greeted by Athos who smiled warmly at him and clasped his shoulder lightly, "You seemed hard at work there"

"Yeah, Aramis said it`d help and I think it has" d'Artagnan said returning the smile "But I`m feeling like some stuffy clerk!, I need to get out in the fresh air!"

"Fancy a walk in the gardens?" Athos offered "Or perhaps a ride?"

"I`d like a ride, I`ll bet Zad`s missing me"

"A ride it is then".

 

d'Artagnan breathed in a deep breath of the fresh clean air as he and Athos rode through The Kings woods, they kept the pace light, just going at a simple trot, while he had`nt been sleeping well, d'Artagnan felt more energetic than he had in days and that was helped by the fact the weather was bright and clear.

With the sun shining down, and the sky a clear blue, d'Artagnan could`nt help but feel happier and brighter.

Athos kept a close eye on him as they rode, partly to make sure that he was`nt going to get too tired, but also that he was`nt pushing himself to hard, was`nt getting upset again, thought it seemed quite the oposite, but then d'Artagnan was a country boy at heart, being locked up inside The Louvre or any structure would`nt help him, he thrived in the open air, in the sun shine and greenary, for the first time since it had happened Athos regretted the fact La Fere was gone, because that would have been the perfect place for d'Artagnan to recover.

They could have gone there together, had the freedom of the whole estate, away from Paris, from everything, just enjoying the peace of the country, but as it was quiet rides like this would have to do, unless of course Louis could be prevailed upon to allow them use of the hunting lodge in Versaille?.

Louis was feeling guilty, had more or less ordered his Brother`s asult, there was a good chance that he might allow them to take d'Artagnan to Versaille and allow them use the lodge, it would give d'Artagnan the freedom his Gascon soul craved while still being within a safe enviroment.

Mind made up, Athos planned to speak to Treville as soon as possible and then broach the subject with Louis.


	11. Chapter 11

Louis was gracious enough to allow d'Artagnan his convelescence in Versaille, stating that The Hunting lodge needed to get more use than it did, and that he must plan a hunting party for as soon as possible.  
Since he was still having trouble sleeping, being frequently awoken by nightmares, d'Artagnan could not ride at his usual pace, nore stay in the saddle for as long as he normally would.  
While his Gascon pride demanded that he carry on regardless of his bodies fatigue, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos insisted on making frequent rest stops, and keeping to a gentle trot rather than the canter they would normally ride at.

Fatigue was not the only problem d'Artagnan faced while riding.

He was not yet fully healed from Gaston`s rape of him, he was still very tender and sore between his legs, being reduced to tears when he releaved himself, as the fragile flesh inside his body tore open and bled causing him agonising pain.  
He had been exceptionally fortunate to escape infection, considering the nature of his injuries and their location, it was only thanks to the physicians work, and Aramis`s diligence in tending d'Artagnan despite his protests, not wishing to be viewed in such a position, or have Aramis placing his hands in such an intimate area of his person, however, Aramis had continued on despite his arguments, cleaning d'Artagnan inside and outside, applying a healing and soothing salve, and when he was bleeding too baddly, some wadding to help staunch the blood.

Riding was not helping with this problem, and after a few miles he was feeling like a hot coal was burning inside him, and was eager for a break, in which he swallowed his pride enough to lay on his belly and give his throbbing backside a rest.

 

Using a peice of charcoal, he wrote in his journal while his friends made a small fire preparing to cook a midday meal.  
'I`m starting to think I will forever be burdoned by my injury, it has been weeks since Gaston lay with me, raped me, yet I am still torn inside, I still bleed when I shit, I can`t even ride more than a mile at a trot without feeling like a pokers been shoved up my arse!.

Aramis says that the flesh will heal, that while they are extreamly painful, the wounds are not deep, and will eventually close over properly.  
He says that they will take time because they are constantly in use with my needing to releave my body of it`s waste.  
I once tried to go a day without using the privy, but it only made things worse when I went the next day. 

It is so embaressing having Aramis looking at me down there, touching me there.

Not just because of what Gaston has done, but simply because he is seeing part of me that I never wanted him to see!.

He is always gentle though, taking care to warm his hands in clean boiled water, and use salves to ease the way before slipping a finger inside.

Despite how unpleasent this task must be for him, he never complains, he treats this as he would any other wound that must be cared for, talking to me of mundane matters, any other matters, to try and take my mind of what he`s doing.

Though it dos`nt work, I appreciate the gesture.

 

We are riding to Versaille, so I can convelace in the country, I know this to be Athos`s idea, since he knows me more than anyone.

I find myself thinking of him more and more, of him saying he loves me.

How can we ever become anything other than friends when I flinch from anothers touch?, when nightmares still plague my sleep?, when I still find blood stains on my braies?.

For us to become lovers, Athos would do to me what Gaston did, or I would do it to him.

While I know it would not be the same, that we would not seek to hurt each other, I do not think I could ever bear to have anyone do that to me, even if it is in love and not........hatred?, or whatever twisted feeling Gaston had. 

I think Athos would submit to me without question, but I could not imagine taking him like that, somehow it dos`nt seem right, I just not imagine myself in the roll of the "Man", for want of a better fraze.

I wish I knew how to make myself stop feeling this way, how to make things right inside my head and heart.

Part of me wants to just walk up to Athos, to throw myself into his arms, to kiss him, and beg him to make me his, to drive out all the pain and misery and make me feel bliss.  
But I can not do so, I don`t think he would welcome me to either, while he is being more openly affectionate, there is a caution about him that there was`nt before, he looks at me as if he is afraid I am made of spun glass and will shatter with careless handling.

This is only to be expected I suppose, he did stop me from hurling myself off the Louvre roof top!. 

I`ll bet Louis would have been distressed by the mess my shattered skull would have made!.'

 

"d'Artagnan?", Aramis`s call made d'Artagnan pause in his writing and rose from the ground, wincing at the pull it caused him, and went over to the fire, sitting down carefully, and kept his weight resting on one hip, half laying rather than sitting.  
"Perhaps riding side saddle would be easier for you for now" Aramis suggested as Porthos served up a bowl of stew for d'Artagnan, filling Athos, and Aramis`s bowls, then his own.

"I`m not a woman" d'Artagnan grumbled stiring the stew and flipping the meat over with his spoon until a chunk of bread hit him squarely between the eyes!, looking up with a scowl he met Athos`s equally stern expression

"Eat your food, don`t play with it!" he said sounding like an exasperated parent

"I`m not the one throwing food" d'Artagnan muttered, grumpily picking up the bread and dipping it into the stew, soaking up the gravey and eating it slowly 

"We should reach Versaille by nightfall" Porthos said "According to Treville, Louis sent orders for the servents to have the lodge made ready, with a good larder stocked, and the beds aired"

"I`m sleeping in the Kings bed!" Aramis declared brightly 

"I thought you`d prefer the Queen`s Ladies bed chambers!" Athos threw back receiving a crude gesture in return, "Treville had ordered us to be on our best behavior" he said "His majesty is showing us a great favour by giving us the use of his hunting lodge, and we are not to take advantage of his gift"

"Meaning?" Porthos asked

"Meaning, my dear Porthos, there will be No indoor fencing matches, No indoor Water fights, No shooting melons of heads or other body parts indoors or outdoors!, No juggling with his Majesty`s glass ware!, No using his Majesty`s portraits for target practise, or any of his majesty`s furnishings!, No riding the horses through the gardens, and No broken windows!"

Aramis, Porthos, and d'Artagnan looked at Athos rather bewildered, then at each other, all trying to hold in their laughter before looking back at Athos  
"I`m sorry what was first on the list again?" Aramis asked in a sweet voice with a far to bright smile on his face!.

 

They reached Versaille shortly after dusk, the sky turning a beautiful deep blue shade, with blood red in the distant west as the sun sank from their sight.

The servents had been dismissed from Versaille after preparing the lodge, so they had to tend their own horses, before going into the Lodge.

Aramis gave a made giggle like a naughty school boy, grabbed d'Artagnan`s hand and pulled him up the stairs to go and lay claim to The Kings chambers before Porthos got dibs on them!.

With a roll of his eyes Athos slowly followed after them, with Porthos beside him chuckling at the antics, when they got into the Kings Bed chamber, they found d'Artagnan and Aramis engaged in a pillow fight on the bed, upon which they would jumping up and down!

"What were you saying out best behavior?" Porthos drawled eyeing the dirty boots on the pristine bed spread!

"We`ll all be court marsheled by the end of the week!" Athos groaned deciding he was too tired for this, and far to sober!.

 

 

The larder was indeed well stocked, which put a large smile on Porthos`s face, as did the extensive wine cellar for Athos.

Deciding to feast like The Moores rather and Christians, they lay out a goodly spread before a roaring harth to dine, laying out cushions on the floor, and blankets so they would be comfortable.

Making use of his Majesty`s Champagne, and Brandy, all four Men became sleepy and giggly, picking at the left over cheese, and fruit as they lay back, trading silly stories, and rather bawdy songs.

d'Artagnan found himself laying with his head resting in Athos`s lap, the older mans fingers threading through his hair as he chuckled at Porthos`s off key singing about a "Red haired Maid!", Aramis rolled multipul grapes about his side from where they had been dropped, following his failed attempts at throwing them in the air and catching them in his mouth!.

"Ah!, I think I like the King better now!" Porthos declared draining his cup of brandy 

"Don`t you mean you like his cellar better?" Aramis asked

"Well yeah, that too!"

"Fancy going hunting tomorrow?" Aramis suggested stretching out languidly "I`ve a hankering for the Kings Pheasents

"You`ve always a hankering for some bird or other!" Porthos teased making d'Artagnan choke and splutter on his champagne 

"What do you think, Oh great and Majestic Leader!" Aramis leered at Athos who promptly threw the hunk of cheese he`d been eating at him managing to bounce it off Aramis`s nose!

"Providing we do not decemate his Majesty`s supply of fowl than I suppose that we may do so"

"I don`t think I have ever eaten Pheasent" d'Artagnan said yawing tiredly, the long ride, the alcohol, and Athos stroking his hair was making him sleepy 

"Then you`ll be in for a treat lad, roast Pheasent is a delicasey, that you`ll love" Porthos declared nodding to Athos as the whelp yawned again 

"Time for bed I think" Athos said stretching and dislodging d'Artagnan who stood up with a groan, eager to go and fall into bed, as Porthos withdrew a pack of cards from his sleeve, Athos glared him and Aramis, "If you two are to stay up, then make sure you don`t damage anything, including each other!"

"yes Mother Hen, go and cluck off to bed!" Aramis said making shooing motions with his hands, Athos scowled at him but followed d'Artagnan to the hall and up the stairs to the room they were sharing, with his nightmares still plaguing his sleep, d'Artagnan could not sleep alone, and rather unsubtley Porthos and Aramis had decided that Athos share with d'Artagnan, giving Athos a crude wink and gesture to boot!.

As a way to stick it to The Cardinal, the two of them were sharing the chambers he used when he joined the King on a royal hunt!.

The bed was huge, and had the red and black drapes, and the symbol of his household!, there was something that left Athos deeply satisfied about leaving his dirty boot prints of Richelieu`s rugs, and making sure mud scuffed the wood work!.

"Big arse bed for a man of the clothe" d'Artagnan declared burrowing under the covers "Should`nt it be a single bed?, he`s meant to be celibate!"

"Dear d'Artagnan, the day a Cardinal is truly celibate is the day that the world stops spinning!" Athos replied stripping down to his smalls and climbing into bed, blowing out the candle and settling down 

"Tell me a story!", the command from d'Artagnan came out of no where and Athos found himself gaping in the darkness

"What kind of story?" he asked 

"Of your time as a Comte, before everything went wrong, of one of your adventures with Mis and Port, anything" d'Artagnan said snuggling closer to Athos`s warmth wondering how anyone could sleep in so large a bed alone, with a sigh Athos wrapped an arm about him, pulling him close as he began to speak of the first hunt he had gone on with his Father when he was a boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I`ve just started a dreamwidth account, anyone who has prompts, comments, or just wants to chat is free to post there.
> 
> anne-falcyn 
> 
> Under the user name of elenduen.
> 
> I`ll be posting the first three chapters of an original Novel I`ve written, aswell as poetry, and ideas for future fics.


	12. Chapter 12

As d'Artagnan lay snuggled against Athos, their bodies flush together with the human tendance to seek out bodily warmth during sleep, he dreamed.

Not the harsh painful sleep he had suffered since Gastons abuse of him, instead it was the most pleasent, and erotic of dreams he had,had, especially since his rape at Gastons hands.

In his minds eye he perceived himself laying in bed, not his own bed in the garrison, nore the bed he had been using at the Louvre, not even the one he shared here with Athos in Versaille.

This bed was unlike any d'Artagnan had ever seen in his life, but with the way dreams are, his mind made it seem as if it were prefectly ordinary for him.

The bed was not in a chamber as it should have been, but in a woodland, canopied by the green boughs and blossom rich trees, the golden legs of the bed, which seemed now shaped more liked an enlarged chaise longue, were surrounded by beautiful sweet smelling flowers, whose petals matched the fair blue shade of the silk sheet the half covered d'Artagnan`s body.

He was not naked, but rather dressed in swarths of white silk cloth, that wrapped about his waist and up over his left shoulder. 

The sunlight was golden, and was shining in through the trees down upon him, bringing out his olive skin and sparkling in his eyes, a light breeze was blowing through the boughs making the light dance and form paterns as the branches moved, laying on his back, his right leg bent at the knee, he watched the wind as it weaved the leaves and blossoms over his head.

Through the peaceful glade Athos came, coming upon the scene of tranquility with an enraptured look upon his face.

Unlike d'Artagnan he was not dressed in the garb befitting the ancient Romans or Greeks, but in his usual Musketeer uniform.  
Smiling as he pushed aside a branch he plucked his scarf from his throat and offered it to d'Artagnan as he drew closer to him.

D'Artagnan saw himself sitting up, moving his body so Athos could join him on the bed, could lean over and place his hands upon his body, could bend forward and dip his head to kiss him.

The kiss started with a breif press of lips, that slowly became more empassioned, their tongues licking and teasing each other, d'Artagnan tipped his head back bearing his throat to Athos who kissed his way down the collum of flesh, sucking at the tender skin making d'Artagnan moan and open to him like a flower expanding its petals under the sunlight.

Athos lifted his swollen lips from d'Artagnan`s throat to smile warmly at him, looking deep into his dilated brown eyes, with tender, gentle hands he stroked d'Artagnan`s shoulders, running his fingers down his smooth torso and taking the silk from his shoulder to bear him to his waist.

D'Artagnan sighed and leaned back, happy to allow Athos his exploration of his body, delighted to receive him into his arms as Athos removed his heavy leather doublet and lay over him, his thin linen shirt soft against d'Artagnan`s skin, slowly and deeply they kissed once more, d'Artagnan running his hands through Athos`s hair, and down his back to pull the shirt out of the waist band of his breeches and slide his hand up Athos`s back spanning his muscles and warm skin, laying on his back, d'Artagnan allowed himself to be enveloped completely by Athos, to be wrapped up entirely in his embrace, possessed completely by love.

 

 

D'Artagnan awoke abruptly, jolting into waking and blinking owlishly as he realized his location, and that he had passed the night through with no nightmare, instead had enjoyed a beautiful erotic dream.

Smiling, d'Artagnan allowed himself a long languid stretch in bed, then froze as he felt something that shocked him.

He was hard.

Normally he would not have been surprised by this, Men of his age had errections every morning, usually it would be nothing out of the ordinary for him to wake up hard, he would not even be bothered by the fact that Athos was laying at his side, and was sporting an impressive peice of wood himself!.

They had too often shared beds upon missions, or huddled together in the rough for warmth and awoken hard in the mornings.

The only reason d'Artagnan was shocked by this, was because he had not had an errection since his abuse.

He had worried that he might be damaged inside from Gastons actions, and that he would never again be capable of bedding anyone, would be shamed into impotency at the age of twenty!.

Now however, it seemed this was not the case, since he was very aroused.

Biting his lip d'Artagnan lay quite still, intending to just let the arousal pass, but as he lay there, his mind wandered back to his dreams, refusing to allow him respite from the nagging errection that was growing every stronger and more insistant!.

Had he been alone in bed then he would simply and fisted himself and brought himself relief, but he could not very well do that when Athos lay snoring beside him!.

Holding his breath, and moving as silently as he could, d'Artagnan slipped from the bed, hurrying to the privy where he gratefully took himself in hand, closing his eyes and allowing himself to remember his blissful dream, with Athos`s lips on his, Athos`s calloused hands holding him so gently, so tenderly, Athos`s soulful eyes brimming with love and devotion.

With a groan d'Artagnan spilled his seed into the pot, panting with the force of the release that left him feeling light headed and slightly dazed.

 

 

After washing in cold water from the ewer, d'Artagnan dressed himself and picked up his diary, finding that he needed to write, to get his thoughts straight as best he could.

 

'I got hard for the first time in weeks, had a good dream, and got myself off on it.

I don`t quite know what this means for me, I don`t think it means I am cured of all my ills, but I think it is a good sign, a sign that maybe in the future I could consider moving on, that in time I will heal from all of this and be able to give myself to Athos.

Give myself!

That makes me sound like a virgin girl!

The thought of him touching me, intimately is not as frightening as it was, while I don`t think, even in my dreams I could countenance laying with him fully, I think I could submit to being held by him, touched and kissed, and I think, in fact I know that as Athos is very much a gentleman he would never rush me, or hurt me in anyway, he would be content to take the time needed before anything went further'.

 

 

Athos knew there was something different about d'Artagnan when he rose, the Gascon seemed..............relaxed, in a way that he had not been since before Gastons asult upon him, he looked, more settled in himself, as if he had resolved some problem that had been plaguing him.

Part of Athos was very tempted to ask him, but somehow he knew that for this d'Artagnan needed privacy, and respected this, content to let d'Artagnan talk when he was ready to, if talk was what he needed.

As the four of them rode out on their hunt for his Majesty`s pheasant, (Just never let anyone know that we stole the kings fowl), Athos drew to the back of the company with Aramis, allowing Porthos to ride in the lead with d'Artagnan behind him, hoping to scare birds out of the bushes and trees

"To what do I owe the honour of your riding beside me?" Aramis asked with a broad smile

"I want to know how d'Artagnan is doing" Athos replied not succumbing to Aramis`s charm anymore than he normally did

"You can see for yourself Mon Ami", Aramis gestured to where d'Artagnan was laughing as Porthos nearly got his hat pulled off his head by a low hanging branch!

"I mean physically you insufferable philanderer!"

Aramis beamed at the insult as if it were a compliment! making Athos roll his eyes and wish he`d snagged one of the bottles of brandy before they`d left the chateau!

"He`s doing alright" Aramis said "His torso and back are healing nicely, there will be scars of course, I can not prevent that, but there are not showing any sign of infection, and will not impare him in anyway"

"What about his........ahhhh, his lower anatomy?", here Aramis winced understand why Athos had chosen to be polite in his frazing

"His penis is healed without any damage, the burns were superficial, as were any other injurys to that area"

"And else where?"

"That is.....still very delicate", Aramis bit his lip, and nudged his horse closer to Athos hushing his voice so they would not be over heard, "He still bleeds, the internal injuries, while not severe, thank God, are not fully healed, constant use of that area through bodily function is making the healing slow, and leaving him very sore there", Athos grimanced, disliking the subject, and hating it for the fact that is was d'Artagnan`s body they were discussing, he had heard of soldiers being raped on the battle field by blood thirsty maddened savages, of them being buggered so brutally that they were left damaged for life, if in fact they did not bleed to death in the first place.

He dreaded to think of d'Artagnan suffering such afflictions for life, of being constatly in pain from what he had suffered, even now he winced as he sat down, was every careful in how he positioned himself, even submitting to riding side saddle to keep from making the pain worse, Athos did not think he could bear it if d'Artagnan were condemned to suffer on like this for the rest of his life.

"He will heal given time" Aramis said "The bleeding is only light, the blood is bright red, not dark, so it is fresh not from deep inside him, and there is no sign of infection, with continued treatment, he will heal up, and I do not think suffer any lasting effects" (At least not physically) he silently added in his head 

"We just need to be patient with him" Aramis said "Give him time, and encouragement, and I believe he will come through this"

"he will" Athos agreed "But he will never be the d'Artagnan he was before the assult, that d'Artagnan is gone now, what he will be when he is healed is someone else, still d'Artagnan, but a more hardened, and less naive boy than he was before, more cynical, and less hopeful", he looked to Aramis and gave him a faint smile "Life changes us all Aramis, you, Me, Porthos, and it will change d'Artagnan, but I think, given time, he will come out stronger in the end, and still be the greatest of us all".


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapters fluffy, and d'Artagnan makes a further step in his recovery.

Athos looked up from his position, sprawled on one of the Kings Chaise Longues, where he was reading a copy of The Prince by Nicolo Machiavelli, it was not one of his favourite books, in fact he found it a damn slog to get through, but was better than the trashy, romantic novels that Louis seemed to have a mass of, and having been here now for nearly a fortnight, Athos was getting rather bored, they could only do so much hunting without descemating the Kings Fowl and Deer completely, and he could`nt risk drinking himself into a stupor, unless he wanted to risk emptying the Kings wine cellar!.

So, in determination to find himself something to do, that did not involve the rediculas pillow fight that Aramis had instigated that morning, dragging Porthos and d'Artagnan into his obserdity!, Athos had perused the Kings book shelves and found something to ocupy his mind with.

Outside in the pretty pateo, Aramis and Porthos was engaged in sword play, but it was not the sounds of their sparring that drew Athos`s attention, but d'Artagnan`s who was sat at the desk, flicking the quill back and forth in his fingers, starring into space.

"Are you alright?" he asked closing the book and sitting up straighter with a slight wince as he felt his back twinge from where he`d become stiff

"Hmm?" d'Artagnan blinked and looked at him rather startled "Sorry, I..........guess I got lost in my thoughts", he set down the quill and closed the leather bound journal he had been writing in several times a day, and rose from the desk, stretching like a cat and making his way over to the side board where a rather good vintage of Brandy was set out, and poured both himself and Athos a cup each 

"Thankyou" Athos said accepting the drink and keeping his eyes on d'Artagnan as he sat himself down on a poof, "Any of your thoughts you`d care to share?" he asked 

"I need to try and get them straightened out in my head first I think" d'Artagnan replied "It`s what I was trying to do, so I could write them down"

"Well maybe talking will help get them straightened out, or at least unburdon your mind of a few too many thoughts", d'Artagnan smiled at Athos`s words, imagining his mind like an over filled vegtable cart with carrots, and potatoes, and swedes falling out as it bumped down the road!.

"You can tell me anything" Athos said "I won`t judge you, or.....well alright I might be shocked, but I won`t start shouting or anything like that!"

"I know, and I appreciate it" d'Artagnan said leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees "It`s......it`s not Gaston thats bothering me, Well yes that is some of it of course, but not all of it, I mean it is still there in my mind, but thats not whats bothering me right now"

"What is then?" Athos said copying d'Artagnan and leaning forward "Are you in pain?, worried about going back to Paris?"

"No, no, it`s................how will I know when I`m healed?".

 

Athos opened and closed his mouth at d'Artagnan`s question, not really certain how to answer him   
"It`s not like a stab wound or a broken bone" d'Artagnan said "It`s not like I`m going to get stitches removed or splints taken off my leg, so how will I know?"

"I......I guess that........you..............you`ll know it in your heart" Athos stammered trying to think of a better answer but coming up blank

"I`m not having as many nightmares, thats a good sign is`nt it?" d'Artagnan offered "And I don`t flinch so much when you, and Aramis, and Porthos touch me"

"Yes, thats a very good sign, and we are all very proud of you", d'Artagnan smiled slightly, his dimples showing in his cheeks

"Say, for argument sake, that I`ve got feelings for someone, and I want to.......well make those feelings known, not go to bed with them, I know I`m not ready for anything like that, but I want to......do more than just use words" d'Artagnan could feel his cheeks growing warm, and bit his lip, shifting uncomfortably as Athos looked at him with a rather stunned expression, "You know what, it dos`nt matter" d'Artagnan said sitting back up "Never mind, it`s a stupid question", he made to get up only to have Athos reach out and take hold of his hand 

"It`s not stupid, I just, I`m not sure what you should do" Athos said, his hand not leaving d'Artagnan`s, their fingers entwining as they sat facing each other, "This person you have feelings for?"

"Hypothetical person, hypothetical feelings" d'Artagnan stressed wetting his lips searching Athos`s face

"Well, hypothetically speaking, do you think that this person returns your feelings?" 

"I`m.....I really hope he...I mean they do!", d'Artagnan was sure his cheeks were going to catch fire if they got any hotter, though his heart leapt in excitement as he saw the sparks of hope in Athos`s eyes 

"Well, I guess you could try going slow" Athos whispered, clearing his throat "Maybe holding hands?....." he broke off looking down at his and d'Artagnan`s hands which were still joined together 

"Holding hands?" d'Artagnan whispered a very tiny smile lifting his lips 

"That, and....ummm, perhaps a ummm, kiss?" 

"A Kiss?"

"A peck on the cheek or on the lips if your feeling bold" Athos said swallowing hard, and wondering if it were getting hotter in the room! 

"Kind of like this?", d'Artagnan held his breath, leaning forward and briefly pressing his lips on Athos`s, making the Mans eyes widden in pleasent surprise, he gazed at d'Artagnan`s worried face, the younger man clearly concerned that he`d over stepped the bounds, or made the wrong assumption 

Very carefully Athos smiled at d'Artagnan, lifting his free hand to cup his cheek and slowly draw him in for another kiss, he kept it brief, and gentle, knowing better than to risk doing anything more, as the kiss ended d'Artagnan let out a deep sigh, relief and pleasure on his face , "Alright?" Athos asked stroking his cheek gently with his thumb

"Yeah" d'Artagnan whispered leaning into the touch, "In fact!", he rose from the poof to come and sit on the Chaise beside Athos, snuggling into his embrace so they were lay back on the chaise, facing each other, and trading gentle chaste kisses 

"Are you alright with this?" he asked, looking at Athos who was still looking rather stunned

"I`m more than alright, so long as you are sure that this is what you want" Athos replied, brushing d'Artagnan`s hair behind his ear, "Are you sure you want this?, with me?"

"I am, I wanted you even before.......what happened, and while I don`t know when I`ll ever be ready to doing anything more than this, I do know that I love you, I always did"

"And you know I love you, I did tell you that", d'Artagnan smiled, snuggling closer to Athos 

"Yeah you did, you stopped me from making the stupidist mistake in my life!, gave me hope for the future, that I had something to live for" 

"You have a great deal to live for" Athos said "And you need`nt worry about things between us going any further for how ever long you need, just having you here, like this, is more than enough for me"

"Wow!, who knew you were such a romantic!" d'Artagnan giggled getting a nudge in the ribs from Athos who silenced any further teasing with soft slow kisses.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting towards the end of this fic now, but don`t worry, I`ve two prompts for two similar fics, which I`ll be working on once this one is complete

Under normal circumstances, Aramis and Porthos would have been given d'Artagnan and Athos an awful amount of ribbing over them getting together. 

But these were not normal circumstances.

WHile he was making great strides in his recovery, d'Artagnan was still decidedly fragile, and being tormented, having tastless jokes, and bawdy remarks thrown at him would not help him in anyway.

So biting their tongues, Porthos and Aramis simply offered their congratulations, and support of the new relationship, storing up their teasing for when they had Athos on his own!.

 

Athos, while very aware that he would be on receiving end of endless teasing and tormenting from Aramis and Porthos some time in the not to distant future!, was feeling happier and brighter than he could ever recall being.

Waking up in bed beside d'Artagnan was a treat he had only allowed himself to briefly indulge in during his dreams.

While they were not going further than gentle kissing, and cuddling, Athos was more happy than he had ever thought he would be again after all that had happened with Anne.

Over the last five years he had grown use to falling into bed, his head spinning, and stomach churning with too much alcohol consumption, often vomiting before he passed out, and then waking with the filth smeared over his face, and his head throbbing in pain.

Being with Porthos and Aramis had helped, when they took him home after his excessive sessions in the taverns, they would make sure that he had his head shoved out the window, or into the pot when he started to puke, make him clean his mouth out and was safely sleeping on his front or his side before they left him.

They also made the effort to get him to decrease the binges, spending enough time with him, so that he could be reasonably distracted, and would pass the night without drinking himself unconscious.

D'Artagnan`s arrival in Paris, his huge impact on their tight knit group, making it open and accept him, as he wormed his way into all their hearts with his puppyish charm, brash fiery nature, and uncomprimising loyalty, Athos had found himself more and more inclined to staying sober, to keeping his mind clear so he could spend his waking hours with the boy.

At first he`d thought he had simply found a protege, a new baby brother to love and care for, but he had eventually he had addmitted to himself that he was in fact in love with the Gascon, hopelessly in fact.

He had never expected anything to come of the feelings, especially not when d'Artagnan ahd appeared to be head over heals for Constance, so he had decided to content himself as being Best Friend, Older Brother, Occaisional Father Figure, (God was he really that old now?).

But now, now, after the worst thing that could ever possibly happen, d'Artagnan and he were now actually together!.

They were kissing, and snuggling, and sleeping together, just sleeping mind, and while they had done that many times before, this was different.  
Now, they curled up in each others arms, Athos spooning round d'Artagnan, pocking fun at his body hips and shoulder blades, while wrapping his arms about the narrow waist and burrying his nose in soft black hair, enjoying d'Artagnan`s indignant squark!, and laughed at the half hearted jibes about his thickening waist line, greying hair, and wrinkles!.

When they woke, which ever one it was of them who awoke the first, they were always greeted with the pleasent sight of the other, and given the beautiful minutes of watching the other as they slowly roused.

Athos would`nt pretend that he was`nt aroused, that he was`nt tempted to try to go further with d'Artagnan, especially when they were both hard, and so warm and snug, but the fear of hurting d'Artagnan, not physically, but emotionally, of effecting his recovery stayed his hand, quite literaly in fact!.

Reminding himself that d'Artagnan had already been the one to make the first move in this, in starting their relationship, and that when he was ready, he would let Athos know.

All he had to do was be patient, and enjoy the moment, not try and rush head long into the future.

 

 

 

Another bonus of being in Versaille, and not just serving The King, and guarding him while he made pitiful attempts at hunting, making so much noise that he scared away more than he actually shot!.

Was that they had access to the bathing chambers.

Kings and Queens did not make do with copper tubs in front of fire places to bath themselves, or use cold water from buckets to sluce off sweat and grime.

They bathed themselves in roman style baths, tended to by their closest of servents, The King by the gentlemen of his Privy chamber, The Queen by her Ladies in Waiting.

Porthos made a few half hearted complaints, stating that he had bathed only last week!, and had his under wear washed last month!, and that people died of wetting!, but was dragged (Not really unwillingly), down to the bathing chamber, to enjoy the warm water and inevitable water fight there!.

Naturally it was Aramis who began to water fight, he leaped on Porthos`s back as soon as he was in the water, dunking the larger man completely!, Porthos came up with roar!, wirling on Aramis and spraying him with water!, unfortunately catching d'Artagnan aswell!, which of course had to be avenged!.

Athos had, for a time, sat on the side lines, rolling his eyes at the childish behavior, until he too was soaked by the antics, and had to join in to get his own back!, jumping on Aramis`s shoulders and forcing him under water!, only to have his legs grabbed by Aramis, and to be thrown off his feet getting dunked himself!.

As he came up spitting water from his mouth, he was met with another face full, this time from d'Artagnan!, who laughed at his stunned expression so much that he nearly did`nt have time to swim away as Athos launched himself at him!.

 

After a good hour of soaking each other and the whole of the bathing chamber, the Musketeers lay down in the shallows, simply enjoying each other company.

"I think we should get one of these put in at the Garrison!" Porthos said "Just the thing to unwind after a long hard days work"

"I can think of other things for that!" Aramis said with a leer making Porthos slash his face!

"I some how doubt the King will be willing to fork out the fortune it would require to build us one of these!" Athos said "Especially since there are pleanty of Bath houses about the city we could go and use if we chose"

"Yeah, but as the Kings elite we should have our own Baths!, and our onw massures to rub out those painful aches from our muscles!, all muscles!" Aramis said his eyebrow wiggling suggestively

"You could always try putting some ice on those muscles!" d'Artagnan offered making Porthos snort and Athos quirk his lips in a slight smile as Aramis gaped at him 

"You are not to old to go over my knee young Gascon!" Aramis scolded wagging his finger at him 

"You`d have to go through tall dark and glowers alot for that!" d'Artagnan shot back with a smug smile 

"Yes you`d......" Athos broke off and turned his death glare on d'Artagnan "Tall dark and glowers alot?"

"Well you do!" d'Artagnan said with a shrug 

"True" Porthos chuckled effecting an innocent face as Athos turned to glare at him "It`s the eyebrow thing, I think you`re chanelling Richelieu with it!, they go all......."

"Catapiller like?" Aramis offered

"More shag carpet if you ask me!" Aramis snickered 

"No one did and you can all go to hell!" Athos growled 

"Oh, come on, you know you love us really!" d'Artagnan cooed, draping himself over Athos`s shoulders and kissing his throat "You don`t really want us gone do you?"

"I`m considering it" Athos grumbled, feeling himself melting anway, especially when d'Artagnan moved to face him and gave him that Puppy look which never failed to work on everyone.

"Come here, Whelp!" he muttered pulling d'Artagnan into a hug, and settling them down so he was flush against his back, their hands entwined under the water 

"You two really are sickeningly sweet, you know that?" Porthos asked 

"I think they`re cute!" Aramis said "All cuddly and adorable!"

"Shut up Aramis!" 

"You shut up!"

"How about both of you shut up!" Athos yelled "Dear God, it`s like spending time with toddeler?"

"You only just worked this out?" Aramis said with a grin leaning back and resting his head on the side of the bath "Well, at least you got there in the end!".

 

 

As lovely as it was, to stay in Versaille, it had to come to an end, they could not remain there forever, they had to go home sooner or later, and the longer things were left, the harder it would be for d'Artagnan to return.

He knew this himself, and was in fact the one who suggested going home, but not before he made one more step on his recovery, a step he was scared of, but one he was determined to do no matter what.

 

As he snuggled up to Athos in bed, he drew up his courage and slipped his hand down under the covers, slipping it between Athos`s thighs.

"What....?" Athos broke off his question with a gasp as d'Artagnan`s hand closed about his cock and began to slowly stroke him, "Are you sure?" he forced out as the hand went up and down, teasing the head and squeezing with just enough force to give Athos thunder bolts of pleasure

"I can do it, I am doing it" d'Artagnan whispered "This, I can do!"

"You can do anything, everything" Athos panted his eyes closed and hips bucking as d'Artagnan continued to manipulate his cock, he should have been ashamed at how fast he had grown hard, and how swiftly his balls had filled and were straining, but it had been so long since he had, had any hand but his own about his cock, since anyone had touched him so intimately, that he could`nt hold back, could`nt draw out the sensation, all he could do was close his eyes and let himself spill with a deep and passionate cry.

D'Artagnan sat back on his heels, wiping his hand on the excess of bed sheets, watching the beautiful sight of ecstacy spreading over Athos`s face, the deep contentment and forfillment settling into his eyes, the relaxed appearence of his mouth as he lay back, and let himself simply enjoy.

This had been nothing like Gaston, Athos had`nt thrown him down, forced his hands or his mouth about his cock, choked him, or crushed his fingers to make him do this, Athos was relaxed and pliant under him, letting him do the work, do what he felt comfortable with, to take as long as he needed, not snarled at him, or hit him, just lain back and let d'Artagnan do this in his own time.

 

Slowly, Athos returned to his senses, and smiled lazily at d'Artagnan, extending his hand and tugging the Gascon down beside him, "You alright?" he asked 

"Perfect" d'Artagnan replied snuggling up to the older man "And you?"

"More than you could imagine!" Athos said pressing a kiss against his cheek, "D`you want something yourself?, something you would like?", slowly his hand trailed down towards d'Artagnan`s cock but d'Artagnan caught his hand 

"No, not........I can`t yet" he said shaking his head, recalling the times that Gaston had gripped his cock painfully hard, and burned it, and bitten it, he could`nt face having Athos touch him there, not yet, and he did`nt want to loose the victory he had just claimed by taking a chance, what he wanted was to curl up with Athos and slip into some pleasent dreams, content that he had succeeded in gaining another step on his road to recovery.

"Alright" Athos said settling his hand over d'Artagnan`s stomach "But when you do feel ready...."

"I know, but right now, I just want you to hold me, and to fall asleep in your arms", Athos smiled settling against the pillows and wrapping himself about d'Artagnan 

"Your wish is my command!".


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Graphic descriptions of torture, castration, and mutilation

Lorraine

 

Gaston blinked with gritty eyes, his head aching, and vision blurred, not that there was much to see, the place he was in was all but pitch black.

Groaning, and he tried to put the pieces together in his mind, and work out where he was and how he had gotten there, he tried to move, only to find that he was bound securely, with rough thick rope, about his wrists and about his throat!.

This realization was enough to clear his senses, in earnest he began to pull at the ropes, to try and free himself, crying out in fear for help, his fear growing as he realized he was stripped naked aswell!. 

WHo had done this to him?, some political extreamist?, was he being held for a ransom from his Brother?, was he to be used as a pawn for some sort of coup?.

Presently the door to his prison opened, and Gaston was blinded by the light of lanterns being brought in, along with three Men, who set one down on a table in front of Gaston, and the other two on over turned crates behind him, illuminating the whole room.

"Do you have any idea who I am?" Gaston snarled imperiously "Have you any idea what my family will do to you?"

"Oh we know who you are!" an lilting voice said, belonging to the Man on the left of Gaston, his handsome face coming into view, a Spaniard by his appearance, all dark eyes, olive skin, and ebony hair, "And as for your family?, they won`t do a thing"

"Turns out they`re rather sick of you, and your disgusting habits, Gaston", a gruffer voice said, a much larger man, Moorish by his features, but from the back streets of Paris by his speach, "They are not going to lift so much as their little finger to come to your aid, in this, you are, on your own", the Moor grinned at Gaston, his dark eyes shining with malice "You are at our mercy, something you will find, we don`t have, not for rapist bastards like you"

Gaston felt his mouth growing dry with fear, his usual confident retorts all slipping away from him as he faced his capturers, "Look" he whispered trying to wet his lips with his dry tongue, "You don`t need to do this, I`m sure we can come to some mutually satisfactory arangment"

The Moor opened his mouth and gave a bark of laughter, like this was the funniest thing he`d ever heard!, "D`you `ear `im?, `e actually thinks `e can talk `is way out`a this with a bit o` cash and sweet words?"

"As if money could make up for all he has done" the Spaniard drawled leaning forward, putting his face right next to Gaston`s "What price could you put on someones innocence Monsieur?, for their dignity, their pride?, for the flesh and blood?", Gaston quivered at the Spaniard held his gaze, glaring at him in utter fury, to his shame he felt his bladder releasing, the urine splashing down his legs and puddling at his feet 

"Christ!, we `av`nt even started an `es already pissed `imself!" the Moor snorted 

"Please!" Gaston cried "We can talk about this!, I can pay you anything you want!, I can make up for whatever you think I have done wrong!"

"No you can`t", it was the third man who spoke, his voice hushed, and gravelly, He gazed at Gaston in utter contempt, as if he were the lowest creature he had ever encountered in his life, "We do not want money, we do not want your favours, what we want is justice"

"Justice for all the Boys you have raped and abused" the Spaniard sneered at Gaston "Justice for every innocent you have defiled, tortured, and mutilated, justice for all those lost souls who died from the injuries you gave them"

"But especially, we want Justice for Charles d'Artagnan, who you violated and abused not three months past" the third man, the high born one said

"D'Artagnan?, no, no!" Gaston shook his head pleading with the three Men "He consented!, he lay with me consentially!, it was not rape!, I did nothing that he did not agree........." Gaston was cut off as the Moor gripped his wind pipe in his large hand, squeezing it painfully, making Gaston`s face turn purple, and several veins pop in his eyes, 

"He did not consent to be tortured, to being cut up, burned, beaten and buggered by the hilt of your sword!" he snarled, spitting in Gastons face, keeping the grip on his throat until Gaston was at the point of passing out, and only then, letting go.

Gaston coughed and spat, sucking in huge amounts of air, his head was spinning and his temples thrummed with blood as everything came rushing back to his brain.

 

The three men stood before him, looking him over, as if deciding what they wanted to do with him first,   
"Please" Gaston whispered, his voice gone horse "Let me go!"

"Did your victims say that to you?" the Noble asked "Did they plead?, did they weep, and beg?, did you ever listen, ever stop?, no, of course you did`nt, you enjoyed their suffering did`nt you?", Gaston sniveled looking away, unable to bear the sight of the three men standing in judgement on him, "Well, guess what Monsieur?" the Noble said "Today, no one is going to care about your suffering, no matter how much you cry, and beg, and bleed, no one is going to help you, or care for you!".

Gaston let out a chocked sob, tugging on the ropes uselessly, tears spilling down his cheeks as the Men casually talked amongst themselves about what they should do first, Gaston could`nt hold back a cry of fear as the Moor took up a cat of nine tails and cracked it against the floor, "I think this`ll get `im warmed up to begin with!" he chuckled advancing on Gaston, with menace in his eyes.

 

Red hot pain exploded over Gastons back as the tails sliced into his flesh, he had thought his body would grow accustomed to the pain, that he would be able to ready himself, and get through the lashing with ease after the first few strikes, but he was wrong, every blow was as bad as the first, sometimes worse as the tails hit already split skin, gauging deeper and digging out chunks of flesh and blood, it did`nt seem as if they was a single part of his back that was`nt on fire!, as the pain burned and scolded, the running blood splatting down on the floor, and on the walls as the Moor pulled the whip back.

Just when Gaston thought it could`nt get any worse, his buttocks were suddenly hit by the tails!, over and over and over, until he was certain he would never sit comfortably again!, his thighs were running red with blood, sobs were becoming more and more hysterical as the Moor continued the punishment on him.  
By the time that it was over, there was not an inch of skin on Gaston`s back, from his neck to his heels that had not been lashed.

He had pissed himself again, and vomited down himself, the three man laughing at him for his cowardice, the Spaniard going to get a bucket of cold water which he flung over Gaston to wash him down. 

Down his throat they forced red wine and a strong beef broth, to keep him strong, and dely him going into shock, all the while Gaston continued to cry pitiously, not just for the immense pain he was suffering, but for his vanity, since he knew that he would be scarred for life from the lashing.

For a brief time he was left along in the dark as the man went back upstairs, leaving him to sob on his own, and continue his futile efforts at escaping.

 

 

Up stairs, Athos, Porthos, and Aramis, sat about a small table, with the makings of a meal spread out before them, a bottle of red wine open and poured into cups.

None of them had much of an appetite though, none of them could do this with an easy conscience, they knew it was wrong, and they got no pride from this, but they knew they could not back down, they had to do this, they had to make him pay for all he had done, to so many people, and ensure that he could never do such things again.

They did`nt speak, there was nothing to say, they knew why they were here, why they were doing this, and what had yet to be done, words were not needed, just the silent support of their brothers at their side, ready to see this through to the very end.

 

 

 

Gaston had cried himself to sleep, waking with a jump and a whimper when his three torturers returned, this time, the Moor unbound one of his hands from the rope, while the noble brought the table over, another rope was tied about his wrist, securing his limb firmly to the table leaving him unable to free his hand.   
"What are you going to do?" he whispered fearfully 

"Make sure you can`t touch anyone ever again!" the Spaniard said bandishing a large metal hammer, the kind that smithys used to pound on heated metal!, "We thought about amputating your hands, but the chances are you`d bleed to death, and we`ve another amputation in mind for later, so, this will have to surfice!"

"Ever seen a man with shattered and crushed bones?" the Moor asked grinning at Gaston`s white face "The flesh sort`a sags, the power o`the bones rattlin` inside, like too little meat in a sausage skin!"

"Trust you to think of food!" the Spaniard laughed

"Always thinkings of the important things me!" the Moor said with a grin, stepping back to allow the Spaniard to come over with the hammer 

"Don`t!" Gaston whispered gazing at his fragile fingers and delicate hand in dismay "Please!", he let out a howl as the hammer came down on his index finger, the bone shattering at the force, the nail crumbling and blood seeping about from the corners, his howl became a scream as the hammer hit the finger twice more before moving on to the middle finger to repeat the action

"I`ll save the thumb for last!" the Spaniard said conversationally "Before I move onto the bones in the hand!".

By the time he was done Gaston`s left hand hardly resembled a hand anymore, it looked like a mishapen, blackened lump of burned bread.

His once elegant fingers were ruined beyond repair, the bones in his hand crushed so much that he could`nt even move the digits a single centemeter, tears were still raining down his cheeks, and more cries for mercy followed as his ruined hand was tied back up, and his right hand was brought down to be mangled and broken.

Cold water hit Gaston in the face, making his cough and splutter, a pained cry escaped his lips, as his right hand was rebound above his head, just as ruined as his left hand.

Apparently he`d passed out while he was being tortured, not that it seemed to have stopped his torturers much, since his right hand felt like it had been run over by a carriage!.

"Drink", a cup of brandy was shoved under his nose by the noble, and Gaston gratefully gulped it back, thankful for the warmth it brought him 

"Now eat", this time it was The Moor, holding a bagguette in front of his mouth, making him take bites from it, clearly these Men were not fools, they knew better than to leave a Man to starve or go into shock, or dehydrate, they were nourishing him enough to keep him alive, to make him strong enough for them to continue their torture.

"We`ll be leaving you now" the Spaniard said as the Noble gave him a cup of water to drink "We`ll be back bright an early in the morning to start again", Gaston whimpered and moaned, tears in his eyes and spilling down his cheeks

"Have pleasent dreams!" the Moor whispered into his ear and slapped his cheek before picking up his lantern and leaving, as the door closed Gaston was once again plunged into darkness, and left to cry himself into an exhausted and pained sleep.

 

Hot ale was tipped down his throat in the morning by the Spaniard, followed by gruel being spoon fed to him by The Moor  
"Bes` get use t`this" he growled at Gaston, "You`ll not be feedin` yerself again!"

"He won`t be chewing anything either" the Noble said setting a pair of pliers on the table top which drew Gastons gaze making him shiver in horror, he knew what they were for, the tooth drawerers used them, as did torturers, to wrench teeth out of peoples heads!.  
Gaston had always been proud of his teeth, not having many that had rotted, and being blessed to have them perfectly straight and gleaming white like pearls.

Now he was to have them ripped out one by one, to leave him toothless and forever disfigured, with his lips shriveling up and mouth sinking in to the hollow left behind.

"You should be pleased!" the Spaniard said to him "We`re going to leave your tongue in your head!, you`ll still be able to speak!, and this is far cheaper than the tooth drawerer is"

Gaston wanted to cry out, he wanted to beg and plead, but he already knew it was useless, that nothing he said was going to stop what was coming.

 

It took several hours, and more than once Gaston had to be roused from fainting, but Athos diligently ripped out each and every tooth from Gaston`s head, leaving him crying like a child, his mouth swollen and gums bleeding and stinging from where Aramis had forced him to rinse with salt water to prevent infection.

The Prince had given up all dignity, throwing up over himself again, pissing himself twice more, and even voiding his bowels!, disgusted, the Musketeers had washed him down, and the floor not wanting the remain in the sickening stench, and left him to mumble and cry while they took some fresh air outside the small shack they were holding him in.

"He ai`nt gonna be able t`take much more" Porthos said "He`s too weak willing, to soft, he`s failing fast now"

"He should be grateful we`re not twisted enough to shove our swords up his backside!" Aramis grunted "God knows he bloody deserves it!"

"I think our last act on him will be enough without that" Athos said sipping a brandy slowly "Then we dump him on the road side where he can be found, and get the hell out of here"

"We`re not going to tell d'Art about this are we?" Aramis asked "He`s never going to know is he?"

"No, as far as he and anyone is concerned we are on a mission in England at this point" Athos replied "What has happened here, will be known only by ourselves, Richelieu, Treville, and his Majesty, Gaston will never tell the truth of these events, he will not want the world knowing that he is nothing but a sodomite, a rapist, and murderer"

"I`ll get the brazier hot then" Porthos said rising to his feet and brushing the grass off himself, "You sure you want to do this yourself?" he asked looking to Athos

"I am, it was my beloved he violated, it is for me to exact the vengence upon him" Athos said his voice steely and eyes hard with determination 

"Vengence is mine" Aramis quoted crossing himself "Let this be done".

 

 

A small but exceptionally sharp blade was heated in the brazier, the blade glowing read hot, almost white at the tip by the time that Athos removed it, wearing thick leather gauntlets to protect his hands from the heat.

Gaston was beyond screaming and crying, he was frozen in horror as Porthos and Aramis spread his legs and held the fast   
"I thought I might have many things to say to you as I do this", Athos said as he knelt behind Gaston, taking his scrotum in his hand and pulling the skin taut, "But now, I find, I have nothing to say at all"

Gaston closed his eyes, sending up silent prayers to Christ to save him, by he, and God, it seemed were turned from him, for moments later, the most excrutiating, agonising pain filled his body, turning his vision bright white, before everything went dark.

Aramis carefully stitched the burned and torn flesh that remained of Gastons balls, Porthos depositing them in the brazier to burn, as he heated a poker in the coals.

"Wake up!" Athos snarled back handing Gaston to bring him round from his swoon, for a moment Gaston appeared to remember nothing, then, as Aramis finished tied off the last stitch he let out a broken hearted sob, grief for his lost manhood filling him 

"We said we`d make sure you could`nt hurt anyone again" Athos said holding out his gloved hand to Porthos who handed him the pocker "And we will"

Aramis stood up and backed away, watching shamelessly as Athos took Gaston`s cock in his left hand, and placed the glowing red hot tip ovf the pocker onto the tender skin!, Gastons screams and howls of pain were piercing and blood curdeling, he shook and cried, and wept an ocean as Athos burned every inch of his cock, save the head, to ensure he would still be able to piss, but nothing else, for the burns were too deep to ever heal enough for him to get it up again, and he would forever suffer the agony of his seared flesh, and the humiliation of his lost testis.

"Anything to say to us now?" Aramis inquired of the broken, bubbling prince, "Any apologies?, any regrets?", Gaston whimpered and looked away sobbing into his shoulder as he grieved over his ruined body.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the end!, but do not despair, for more angsty whump d'Art fics will be coming!.

Paris

Musketeers Garrison

 

"Taking pot shots at the Man calling Revali is strictly forbidden!" Treville shouted pacing in front of his Musketeers, who were not even showing the decency to look contrite, so much as amused!, "Thankfully Sergent Laffiette has only suffered a mild concussion from the boots thrown at him, and will be able to return to duty tomorrow morning!", a chorus of groans followed this announcement 

"Should`a hit `im `arder!" a voice grumbled from somewhere in the ranks 

"I will not be tollerating this kind of behavior again!" Treville shouted "You will all appologise to Musketeer Laffiette, and report to duty bright and early tomorrow morning!, and if anything like this ever happens again then I will have each and everyone of you on a charge!, Dismissed!", Treville stomped towards his office muttering under his breath as he went, "Bad enough when Aramis kept shooting the damn roosters!" 

As he turned on the wooden balconey the sound of over excited yapping filled his ears, and moments later, a beautiful Spaniel Puppy came running up the stairs barking at the top of it`s lungs, paws slipping on the steps in it`s haste, to reach his destination, which this time was to barrel right into Treville`s legs and fall back on it`s rump!

"Jaye!" d'Artagnan yelled running up the stairs after the pup, "Jaye get back here right now!", the Pup, named Jaye yipped and spun round, running to his master and jumping up at him excitably 

"Sorry Sir, I`m still trying to train him" d'Artagnan said fussing the over excited Pup who`s tail was wagging so much that his bum was moving with it!

"I feel that way about most of the corps today" Treville sighed bending down to pet Jaye who licked his hand happily, One of Louis`s bitches had whelped a litter several weeks earlier, and on his return to Paris from Versaille, Louis had offered d'Artagnan his pick of the litter, little Jaye, had been the one to capture d'Artagnan`s heart, on small unsteady paws, he had padded out of the nest, and wobbled his way over to d'Artagnan to sniff at and nudge his hand.

The bond had formed instantly, and d'Artagnan had laid claim to Jaye right there, bringing him home to the garrison as soon as he was weaned from the tired bitches teat.

D'Artagnan was in the process of training Jaye, getting him to heel, sit, stay, and lay down on command, however it was taking alot of time, since Jaye wanted to get into everything, and was spending most of his time playing games with the Musketeers, and sneaking treats from Serge!.

"I`m sure you`ll get him under control eventually" Treville said straightening up and smiling as d'Artagnan continued to fuss Jaye, who rolled on his back to get his belly rubbed 

"Think he`ll make a good Musketeer?" d'Artagnan asked "I was thinking of getting him a collar in Musketeer blue, with a fleur de lis tag!"

"So long as he dos`nt get the Musket, cloak, and pauldron too!" Treville snorted "Why not?"

"You don`t think he`d look cute?", Treville rolled his eyes at d'Artagnan, deciding to leave him to it, and retreat into his office where a large bottle of brandy awaited him!.

 

 

Athos, Aramis, and Porthos rode back into the garrison at dusk, having deposited Gaston on the road side, where he was sure to be found within a few hours, and ridden back to Paris with all speed.

They were not proud of what they had done, no man with a conscience could feel pride at torturing another human being, but they all knew that it had, had to be done, that there was no other way for Gaston to be brought to justice.

If he had been anyone else, if he had not been royalty, then he could have been tried, and hung for his crimes, but as it was, he was above the law, and this was the only justice available, and in this, they were the arms of justice.

A smile quirked Athos`s lips as they were greeted with the sight of d'Artagnan playing with Jaye, he was throwing a thick stick, across the garrison for Jaye who was tearing after it, catching it and bringing it back with his tail wagging ten to the dozen 

"Still livley as ever I see!" Porthos chuckled startling d'Artagnan and making Jaye yip 

"You`re back!" d'Artagnan cried running to them a huge grin on his face, Jaye hot on heels jumping and barking at them all 

"Miss us?" Athos asked pulling d'Artagnan into an embrace, clearly wanting to do more, but not able to do so yet

"Of course I did!, you`ve been gone for ages!" d'Artagnan said breaking the embrace "Is everything alright?, did you have any trouble in England?" 

"No, everything went perfectly smoothly did`nt it?" Aramis said looking to Porthos and Athos 

"Borin` really" Porthos grunted "Make for a short report, but that means we can get to the Inn for grub up sooner rather than later!"

"Always looking on the bright side?" d'Artagnan laughed 

"I try!" Porthos said with a bright grin.

 

 

Treville greeted his best Musketeers less enthuseasticaly than he normally did when they returned from a mission, but this was no ordinary mission  
"I take it everything went according to plan?"

"Pefectly" Athos replied 

"And Monsieur?"

"Will never hurt anyone again" Porthos said "Nore will he be telling anyone the truth about what happened to him, not that it`d make any difference if he did, he dos`nt know our names, and we wer`nt in uniform, he might make an educated guess that we`re Musketeers, but it won`t afford him anything"

"Especially since Louis ordered this" Aramis added 

"You don`t believe he`ll seek revenge for this?" Treville asked going to his cabinate and getting out his brandy, pouring each other a cup and handing them round

"Who would he seek revenge against?" Porthos asked "He knows faces, thats it, not who we are, and trying to exact revenge he would have to reveal why we did that to him, and I think that all the thugs he could hire, would be all to happy to finish the job we started on him rather than seek us out"

"Besides, would you hunt three Men who had gelded another Man?" Aramis snorted "We`re in the clear Sir, and Gaston will spend the rest of his life in misery!"

"Well then" Treville said raising his cup "Considering d'Artagnan`s recovery, I would say we can call this as successful mission", they raised the cups and drank slowly, enjoying the vintage "and" Treville continued as he lowered his cup "We never speak of this again".

 

 

Lorraine 

 

Gaston lay back in his luxurious bed, gazing at the ceiling with tears shining in his eyes.

He`d been picked up by merchants not an hour after he`d been dumped at the road side like a sake of unwanted grain.

The merchants had been shocked at his condition, horrifed beyond belief, after giving him some water, and wrapping his mutilated body in a cloak, they had listened to his garbled speach, telling them who he was, and begging them to take him back to the Palace, promising them a reward if they did.

That had of course helped in their agreeing to take him home, giving him as much comfort as they could on the way.

When he had arrived at the Palace, he had been hurriedly bundled inside, with a dozen physicians coming to pock and prod him, umm and arr, and cluck their tongues over his ravaged body, before saying there was nothing they could do.

They bandaged his hands, but nothing could repair the bones, they may as well have been amputated for all the use they would be to him from now on.

His testicles were gone for good, along with his teeth, and cock was perminantly ruined, it`d be agony just to piss from it, without even attempting to get it up!.

His life had been ruined, those men had as good as killed him, no!, they had done worse than that!, they had ensured he would live, live to suffer, like this, for the rest of his life.

He wanted revenge, dear God he wanted it!, but already knew he could never have it, who could he tell truth about this too?, and not dig his own grave in the process?, his Father in Law would happily see him swinging from a rope if he learned the real reason he`d been tortured, and Louis had turned his back on him.

For the very first time in his life, Gaston was truly helpless, helpless, and alone.

 

 

Paris

Six months later

 

Jaye was curled up before the fire place, snoring contentedly having chewed on a bone from Serges kitchen, until he`d gotten all the goodness out of it, and fallen asleep while his masters snuggled on the chaise, sharing a bottle of wine, and trading kissess.

"Hmm, happy?" Athos asked 

"Sinfully" d'Artagnan purred nuzzeling his throat, and licking at the pulse making Athos shiver 

"You might want to....ah.........leave off with that!" Athos moaned feeling his cock growing more and more excited, and tenting his breeches 

"Why?" d'Artagnan asked playfully trailing kisses up to Athos`s jaw and nibbling lightly on his flesh 

"Becase.....I..........won`t...........Jesus!, I can`t............control myself!" Athos groaned, closing his eyes and clenching his fists "God` d'Art!, if you don`t stop................"

"I won`t stop" d'Artagnan said whispering into his ear and kissing Athos`s ear lobe "And I want you to loose control", he sat back letting that sink in for Athos, who turned and looked at him with startled eyes "Are you sure?" he whispered

"I am" d'Artagnan replied trailing his fingers over Athos`s cheek "Tonight, now, make me yours", Athos swallowed hard, his lust increasing as he gazed into d'Artagnan`s dilated eyes 

"Alright" Athos breathed, rising from the chaise with some difficulty, d'Artagnan followed after him, the two of them making their way to the bed and drawing the curtains, falling upon the sheets together, laughing with both nerves and excitement as they pulled at each others clothing, ready to become as one.


End file.
